Local south Florida man recently imported an AE85 from Japan. The car had several oddities that attracted our buyer (who’s identity we will remain hidden), from an HKS turbo, rare bodywork, and oddly enough, what he believed to be a CB radio.

However, after fighting the DMV bureaucracy, the buyer finally took the car out for a spin.

“It was a magical experience at first. The Toyota was everything I hoped it would be! The look, the sound, the road feel, I was more in love with it than ever!”, says the buyer.

However, after the first week of ownership, he noticed an unmarked switch under the glovebox. He switched it on, and suddenly the “CB radio” equipment powered on.

“I couldn’t figure out how to turn on the CB radio at first, so when it all fired up, I was really happy.”

His joy was short lived and has yet to return ever since.

“It turns out the radio isn’t a two way CB radio. To be honest I’m not sure what it is but it’s ruining my life.”

The radio, as it turned out, is ex-espionage hardware that the new owner has no control over.

“It likes to swap between three different numbers stations… uh.. I think one is in Guam, one in the Caribbean, and one in Bulgaria. It comes one when it feels like it, at what volume it feels like, and tunes into whatever it wants.”, the owner’s face was now more serious, “there’s a voice that keeps addressing me as ‘Mr. H’, and started giving me instructions or else… bad things will happen…”

Ever since activating the device, unmarked boxes have been showing up at Mr. H’s door. He declined to discuss the contents with us, out of fear of what “they” will do.

“Recently it picked Russian transmissions, I’m not even sure how but the voice has been silent since. He says I’ve done good so far, but after the Ohio incident, we need to lay low for a month… I swear I didn’t want to… oh god THEY MADE ME… THEY MADE ME…*unintelligible*”

Apparently members of the KGB have been after the Toyota since it was imported. At least two attempts on the Mr. H’s life have been made, with the each having been thwarted by his driving and outside help from “the unnamed federal agency”.

“He promised that I have protection where I go. I haven’t seen anyone yet, but I will often find that anyone following me quickly disappears by the time I look back again.”

The seller would like to close with a plea: “I just want my normal life back, and to those who keep coming after me, please stop interrupting my dinner, this is getting annoying and predictable. You know they have a drone above my house now right?”.

We at MISMA are proud of what Mr. H has done for his country, and we hope he enjoys the many adventures his AE85 have brought him!