Rectum? HARDLY KNEW EM!!

Its simple really. How many hotwheels cars will fit within the average human rectum? Bored mathematicians and concerned doctors the world over have been asking this question since man was first aware he had a rectum. We at MSIMA have been made aware of this unsolved conundrum, and given our name and “engineering prowess”, we thought we’d have a crack at solving this.

Fear not humanity, god is dead! (And we have killed him!)

Let’s start the process with some knowns and assumptions. Yes, I’m actually doing this and you nor the FBI can stop me.

The human rectum has a depth of ~8 inches and a maximum diameter of 2.5 inches, giving us a volume of ~39 cubic inches, accounting for the narrowing of the cavity. The trickier part is finding an average size for a typical 1/64 scale Hot Wheels car. Thankfully, Mattel Australia has product dimensions for an assorted pack of cars, giving us what the manufacture understands at the average size overall. This gives us 2.95 inches in length, 1.18 in width and 0.98 in height. Using the volume of a rectangular prism, this gives us a volume of 3.41 cubic inches. Again, this volume calculation is assuming the cars are a liquid mass that forms to the walls of a rectum, but we will expand on this later. With the calculations we have now, 11 (rounded down from 11.4) Hot Wheels cars can fit in the human rectum. However, this number isn’t realistic, because it’s assuming the car takes up every bit of room in said rectum. I’ll redo the calculations but a little more complicated, assuming the cars are rectangular prisms and the rectum is a perfect cylinder.

Let’s hop into some CAD, why don’t we? Using Catia V5 and with some very basic modeling, the cylinder was modeled semi-accurately and the largest sized rectangle was placed inside. This rectangle has the dimensions of 1.56 inches long, 1.94 inches wide and 8 inches deep. This gives us a total volume of 24.21 cubic inches. Using the average volume of a Hot Wheels car, being 3.41 cubic inches, we can divide the two and find a total of 7 (rounded down) full Hot Wheels cars that can fit into the human rectum. Yes, I’m an engineer. Yes, I’m happy with how I spent my time today. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.