This special editorial brought to you by SwedishDiesel Premium fuel Products™
Being the completely sane and rational being that I am, I have taken to collecting old gas cans. And no, that’s not to say I’m an arsonist.
At these fuel prices? Hah, no way man.
Modern gas cans suck. In an effort to reduce vapor emissions and reduce injuries from spontaneous combustion, portable fuel containers are required to have a self-locking system and no longer feature separate vents. Instead, the vent is built into the spout itself. On paper this is fine, but in practice, it does not work…at all. Like that time British Leyland built the MG B.
I don’t know why or how they haven’t figured this one out yet. New cans are also required to have a flame arrestor, which manifests itself as a filter-like element jammed into the spout. This is all well and good until you realize that these little screens restrict flow so much that you end up overfilling; spilling fuel everywhere at worst, and at best the fuel pump automatically shuts off.
This shit sucks! How am I supposed to transport and dispense my dirty dinosaur juices now?
Fear not, assholes. The gas can guru has you covered. But not without help from our savior, EZ Pour Spouts! These fine n’ minty fellows manufacture replacement spouts for fuel cans which actually flow and don’t suck. Heck, they even have a built-in flame arrestor which also serves as a functional screen filter!
More on them later, let’s get straight to the distilled petrochemicals. For legal reasons, MSIMA and EZ Pour do not condone bypassing applicable EPA, CARB or safety regulations. Spilling fuel all over yourself and your equipment is perfectly safe! Obviously.
#10: Fuelworx – YOU HAD ONE JOB!
I was on the fence about including this one. On paper, it seemed like these guys had it figured out. USA made with an actually-usable locking spout with the fastest flow rate of any can on the modern market, and my god an actual separate vent! This is a huge plus!
The cans are also designed to be stackable, shaped so that the ultra-wide neck sticks out and allows you to dispense every last drop of fuel. Sadly, that stackability is their downfall. They use a baffling two-piece design with a tendency to catastrophically split and dump its contents when the can expands from high temperatures. It’s a shame because the design is so good, but it’s JUNK.
#9: Surecan – Distinctly Different
Admittedly I’ve never used one of these and they are a bit pricey, but they’re too stinkin’ neat to ignore. You hold the can up, lower the spout and pretend you’re a Boeing KC-135 Stratotanker.
You need a fair bit of strength to overcome the large spring on the fill port, but otherwise these are top notch fuel cans.
#8: Scepter – SwedishDiesel’s Personal Choice
Compared to most modern monstrosities, Scepter fuel cans are probably the nicest stock ones. The stock spout is a lot more ergonomic and user-friendly, and the rear handle makes it easy to hold while dispensing fuel. However, not all of them have the rear handle so pay attention before you buy.
If you keep them stock you will need a funnel, to fill a car or any other apparatus without a fill port on top. This is where our beloved EZ Pour Spouts come in handy. Their yellow base fits Scepter cans very nicely, and their spout allows you to seamlessly hold up the can with both handles and pour fuel. Y’know, how a gas can should be. Simple and effective. Scepter even has cute little 1 gallon cans which are perfect for lawn mowers, minibikes, your friend’s Chevy Cavalier that died on the side of the road, and other small-engined equipment.
#7: WWII US Army Jerry Can – Who Throws This Stuff Out?
This greasy old thing was found at the local recycling center, and I couldn’t believe someone just threw it out. Barebones, basic as hell, and stout-as-frig with a cotter pin cap that reminds me of a bath plug for some reason. It has a very high coolness factor, and I can sense all the doomsday preppers salivating and schmooing themselves.
Though you will need a funnel if you ever plan on using it to dispense fuel.
Come to think of it, EZ Pour has a jerry can adapter to remedy this.
#6: No-Spill – No Vent, No Spill, No Problem
Say you live where you can’t order EZ Pour products due to pesky arbitrary regulations, or you want to be a goody two shoes and not illegally tune and delete your gas can.
No-Spill is an excellent choice for such scenarios.
Dispense fuel at the mere push of a button! With a wide neck for ease of filling, a rear handle for ease of holding, lots of flow, and a clear stripe on the can itself to view the fuel level. It even auto-stops to prevent you from overfilling your tank. However, like the stock Scepter spouts, they are not flexible and require the use of a funnel for cars. EZ Pour does make a giant adapter for No-Spill cans, but our experts at SwedishDiesel have yet to verify its function.
No-Spill is also the personal choice of MSIMA’s Dan Verona.
#5: Chilton – Fasten Your Strap-Ons
Everything on this can is a strap-on. The vent, the cap, that horribly phallic spout and all.
Right in the sweet spot. Not a fan of those spouts that are stored inside the cavity though, they tend to drip when you pull them out. Let your head run wild.
#4: Gott/Rubbermaid – Perfectly adequate
Old Rubbermaid products are just a treat. They’re good, solidly built gas cans and the spout is already similar to EZ Pour spouts. There’s no threaded cap though, so they are not gas-tight like the EZ Pours.
The vent cap is threaded rather than an interference fit, which is a nice touch. Strangely, these cans do seem to fade easier from exposure to sunlight so they are most often an odd sort of pink.
#3: Eagle/Justrite Metal Cans – It Has a Tractor Flap!
These industrial-grade fuel cans cost a pretty penny or ten, but they get a high rating for being a potential game changer.
Their ‘spouts’ feature a lever which opens a lid like that of a tea kettle or a tractor flap. Our extensive testing shows they are incredibly ergonomic and simple to use.
Modern fuel cans TAKE NOTE. If a similar setup was utilized and included a handle on the back, it would be literally perfect. Points are lost for requiring a funnel to pour, but Justrite does have a version with a flexible metal spout.
A little overbuilt perhaps?
#2: Old Tide Bottle – It’s Called Recycling!*
Blobulous shapes! Fun colors! They even feature a vent cap and the right colors for different fuels! Gasoline probably won’t melt them but we do not know!
*MSIMA and SwedishDiesel are not responsible for injury or property damage incurred by using unapproved containers for fuel storage or dispensing.
#1: Anchor 3 / 5 gal Cans- The Best There Is
I found one in the garage of a deceased hoarder, and it instantly became my favorite can thanks to EZ Pour’s Chilton adapter. Think of the previously mentioned Gott/Rubbermaid cans, but better in every way.
It is the most solidly built plastic fuel can I have ever used, almost overbuilt. It’s short and stumpy so it will never tip over, and features a wide neck for easy filling and a threaded vent cap for quick dispensing.
If you’ve found one, you’ve already won. Stay tuned for dishonorable mentions in the SwedishDiesel official guide to tuning and deleting your gas cans!
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