Tag: news
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Vittori Motors Announces GT2 Program
Tighten your assholes, cause we’ve violated SEVERAL NDA’s and are now banned from traveling through EU nations just to give YOU the best god-damn news we can. Eat it up, you worthless consumers, like the cattle in a feedlot that you are. Anyways. Start up AI-POWERED hypercar company, Vittori Motors, has announced big motorsports ambitions…
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GM Trademarks ‘Camaro’ in Cambodia
GM TRUTHERS lurking within the depths of the online forum “GM Authority” have recently uncovered news that Chevrolet has register a new trademark for the Camaro nameplate in Cambodia! I’m not making this shit up! We can only speculate as to why this is. Maybe GM needs to renew it and went with the cheapest…
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Faraday Future Blows Up Car to Retain Relevance
Indefinite startup company Faraday Future has been back in the news recently due to a fire and subsequent explosion of a test vehicle at their Los Angeles headquarter. Specifically, an old FF 91 Electric SUV “mysteriously” caught fire in “an accident”, which resulted in the car exploding. The subsequent damage to their facilities was apparently…
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Top Ten Rumors and Leaks for the Upcoming Ferrari EV SUV!
WE ARE ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD OF THE CURVE. WE HAVE NEVER MISS. WE HAVE NEVER FAULTED. And like the Puerosandwich or however you spell it, we WILL DELIVER YOU EVERYTHING WE KNOW SO FAR! So, before Ferrari supposedly unveils an electric SUV no one asked for so that someone(?) will buy, we’re here to…
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AI Powered Ultracar Announced
VoltraX (pronounced Voltra-X) a startup from Singapore by two Americans who demanded politely asked to be referred to as “expats”, has just announced the company’s first ever car, the ExoVibe. The ExoVibe is a 1750 HP AWD hybrid AI-powered “Ultracar”. A few renders were shown to us during a press event over Zoom last week.…
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MSIMA Late Again to Cover Big News: The Nissan-Honda Merger
As the world’s best car news source, Mis-Shift Into My Ass is proud to be consistently behind the curve no matter what happens in the automotive world “We were so late that they called it off!” – MSMIA writer Justin stated during a glue eating contest. In fact, this isn’t the first time the beloved…
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Blackstone Laboratory Oil Test Results – 2001 Murray Minibike
Brought to you by SwedishDiesel Group’s Fueling Division. In the no-man’s-land of Indiana sits a company by the name of Blackstone Laboratories, which provides testing services for used oils as a means of finding out if your engine is on the verge of grenading itself. They test for viscosity, flash point, suspended solids, presence of…
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Mercedes to Introduce “Prostate Massager” Option for 2025 S Class
After months of persistent emails and phone calls that have gotten us yet another restraining order on a South Florida car dealer, we’ve finally managed to get our “operatives” (some dude on discord) to “infiltrate Mercedes Benz USA” (dig through their trash) and “inform us on upcoming products” (send us low quality photos). And boy,…
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Rivian to Work on EV Tank
Following the sudden injection of money to Rivian from the Volkswagen Automotive Group, Rivian has decided to branch off to the sector they probably should’ve started with: defense contracting. Partnering with General Dynamics, the current suppliers of the M1 Abrams tank, Rivian has announced their move into the defense industry. Using the same motor setup…
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Aston Martin Threatens to Wipe Out Humanity (in about two weeks)
THE END IS NIGH, CONSUMERS!!!! ASTON MARTIN HAS FINALLY HAD IT. SUBMIT YOUR PITIFUL EXISTENCE BEFORE YOUR FALSE GODS, ASTON MARTIN WILL TAKE NO PITTY. THEY ARE HERE TO BRING FORTH OUR SALVATION. OH GREAT ONE, LEAD ME TOWARD VALHALLA. ALL WILL BE VANQUISHED! Or at least that’s what Aston Martin’s PR team told us.…