May of you “so called loyal consumers of content” may have heard from more “reputable” and “intellectual” sources that the new 1200 hp awd hybrid Corvette ZR1X posted a sub 2 second 0-60 time on both a prepped and unprepared surface. This bit of news, after further examination (reading it on Hagerty’s Instagram account) turns out to be true.

So.

Congratulations to the team at GM Performance. You’ve done it. But how long will that record hold for?

BECAUSE WE AT MIS-SHIFT INTO MY ASS HAVE A PLAN LADIES, GENTLEMEN, AND ALL THOSE OTHER SCARED FACES IN BETWEEN.

Behold, team at Corvette, our master plan:

THE MSIMA PLAN FOR STRAIGHT LINE DOMINANCE

What you see here is quite simple. A Ginetta G40R with a few “slight modifications”. These include a couple of Aim-9’s “with the warheads removed”, a borrowed DARPA project, and some wheel covers (not shown). Should be capable of Mach 5.7, so it’s technically also hypersonic. Kiss my ass SSC Bloodhound.

Wind tunnel testing (pictured above) ends this week. We will see you all on the Space Shuttle Landing Strip for testing this summer.

No further questions at this time please. You have been warned.