From the depths of the classifieds (but mainly just Facebook Marketplace) we come today to finally put your cries to rest. We conned the government into thinking we develop hypersonic anti-ship missiles, and now loaded with tax-deductible DOD-bucks, we can finally tackle life’s greatest mysteries. Questions like “Can I trust a Fiat 850 Spider that sat outside in Pennsylvania for 20 years”, “is a $20,000 Lotus Elise a bad idea”, or even “will my father ever love me” are at the forefront of our research here at MSIMA Labs.

For todays episode of “Bang for your buck”, we look at the two extremes of the automotive word: a 2013 Fiat Abarth 500 and a 2000 Ford Excursion Limo with a good 240 inches to boot.

Methodologies:

In order to quantify the greatest amount of “bang” achievable per “buck”, two novel methods are proposed. The first and simplest approach looks at the cost per pound of each vehicle. However, as the extent of the weight gain of the Excurssssssion is unknown, an estimated weight is used based on empirical data gathered from similar limo conversions. The baseline Excursion price to ratio is also determined for the reader’s convenience.

The second method is derived from vehicle footprint. This relies solely on known quantities of manufacture stated dimensions and seller quoted lengths. This could be seen as a more accurate depiction of bang / buck due to the lack of assumptions in order for this model to work.

All calculations will be done using U.S. dollars and not some fake made up currency.

Input Data and Results:

First off, the a regular Ford Excursion is examined as a baseline. And it loses out on both fronts. It is truly terrible value for the amount of measurable car you’re playing those hard earned America shekels for. However, the data becomes more interesting when looking at the two cars we should be comparing.

The Ford Excuuuuuuuuuuuursion limo is the best car if you consider vehicle mass, beating out the Abarth 500 by 15 whole cents. Meanwhile, the Abarth beats the limo when looking at dollar per square inch of vehicle footprint by 2 cents. So, a tie then?

Well…

Conclusions:

We can’t leave this question unanswered, that’s just unprofessional. So, if the cold hard maths have failed us, then let us turn to public opinion.

The greater MSIMA community was polled:

And well, that settles it then. By 2 votes, the Ford Excuuuuuuursion Limo is the most car per dollar in this cross-shopping experiment! Buy a whole warehouse full of them, I know I will.