A surprising turn of events last week during the 2022 FL State Autocross Championship transpired, shocking everyone who attended. This was the final event held to determine the winner of the year, and many high-end, built autocross machines were present. However, during the track walk before classes started running, someone accidentally left the timing lasers on. While they were on, a 70-something man with grey hair zoomed around the entire course a solid 3 seconds faster than the fastest car on track. Due to rule technicalities, this counted as a timed run, and beat out every single other racer entered in the event. Talking to the man after the realization, he said “Do you know where the nearest hospital is? I forgot to take my constipation pills on my way to the bank!” before turning around and zooming off. Unfortunately, he was not in attendance during the final ceremonies to accept his first-place award.