OHHH BABY, ITS NUGGET TIME! My favorite time.

“Long time MSIMA” consumers of content might recognize that white Hyundai Genesis from an earlier review. If not, go be a good consumer and read it. The more views we get, the more power we obtain, and I need at least 20,000 power to get into the next level of automotive journalism. Anyways, that turd of a car was on its third engine. So, before it was sold (finally), a reliable solution was sought: a borrowed 2003 Mini Cooper S. Yep, the supercharged one. And upon coming to Florida from Ohio, it fucking died. Alternator and power steering failure. Predictable as the voting habits of rural Kentucky and urban California, but look, it’s fixed now! So I can drive it!

Ok so I’m going to get this comparison out of the way now so I don’t have to milk it to death like everyone else. Yes, it’s like a go kart. It’s small, rigid, turns in instantly, and feels like a buzzy 2 stroke race kart with soft compound slicks, minus the ability to crush your ribs through the corners.

With that out of the way, let’s get into it. Literally.

The O-G 3 door Cooper S is a tiny thing. Good, it should be. And while not as small as the original Mini, it does make it seem like you’ve shrunk by 50% while driving through modern traffic. But like the original mini, this 2003 is bigger on this inside. The front is spacious and the rear seats (yes it has those) still somehow manage to fit actual human beings without needing amputations.

The passage of time has not been particularly kind of its interior however, with the “brushed aluminum” silver paint fading where the sun or your fingers have graced them. Like that ancient box of Wheaties you dug up from the deepest depths of your hobble, while edible, it is past it’s prime. Most of the buttons have a satisfying click, especially the toggle switches, but by now the hard plastics are starting to rear their head. Also, the indicator stalk has so much play in it, it genuinely feels like a McDonalds play toy. The interior isn’t something I would call timeless, with the thick two spoke wheels, those bubbly plastic buttons everywhere, and that big white speedometer slapped in the middle of the car.

It’s kinda awesome, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t say that it doesn’t kinda date the car, just like the orange LCD displays that were all the rage in late 90’s – early 2000’s BMW products. But it’s a nice nod to the original, and a design feature that’s been carried into the modern cars as well. Although you can’t hide anything from the passengers now, because your speed, temperatures, and certain warning lights are now proudly displayed for all to see… and it’s an early BMW-Mini… something is bound to fail.

Behind the wheel, sits a single, lone little tachometer, isolated for your eyes only behind a small metal bubble of a pod. It shows RPM, a basic LCD display for the trip computer, speed if you want, and not much else.

Alright, so enough bush beating right? How about driving the brave little toaster?

The Mini Cooper S is a buzzy little thing. It has oddly heavy controls for such a little car. The clutch is weighty and the hydraulic steering isn’t particularly light, but everything is communicative. Remember, it’s late 90’s early 2000’s BMW in here, so the steering is talkative. It’s direct like a German in conversation. In fact, the whole car talks pretty well. Or at least feels like it did back in 2003, before many Ohio winters started to chip at its pint sized “ultimate driving machine” credentials.

As good of a platform as this is, it can’t beat time, and really can’t beat material science, so while you’re given wonderful steering and a stiff chassis, you do feel that the car is bit tired. Suspension bushings maybe. But it’s not too noticeable, especially with how oddly stiff the suspension is. The Cooper S is fine on smooth roads, but any kinda bump or imperfections are felt. They don’t unsettle the car much, but they do hurt a little. It almost drives like a car on lowering springs, but at least the dampers are actually tuned for these springs. Because when you corner, you are cornering f l a t.

The regular Mini Cooper already was a planted car, so this is just more of the same, plus power. You can just kinda chuck the car in and mash the throttle whenever, and know that it will come out the other end fine. And it’s eager to turn in too, with the weighty steering translating giving you almost immediate turn in. The limit of grip with this thing was much higher than I was wanting to find on the few corners we have in Daytona Beach. It just looked back at me and yawned, wondering why I didn’t enter 20 mph quicker, and why I hadn’t been on throttle sooner.

Speaking of on throttle behavior!

TORQUE STEER BABY! AND LOTS OF IT!

Mash your foot to the floor, and watch as the car veers helplessly in some direction that isn’t straight ahead. All 163 hp – wait that’s it? An SVT Focus makes 170 and doesn’t feel nearly as unstable. Anyways, 163 hp quite strongly pulling the car in whichever direction it feels like. It’s entertaining, although a bit unnerving and not the fastest. But again, entertainment value has to count for something! Just note that you will need to wrestle with the car through second a little.

Once you’ve cleared second gear, the little nugget is far more manageable. The shifter feels like the good side of early 2000’s cable shifters. Smooth, weighty, fairly mechanical, and it takes some effort to use. Once you get over the canyon of a throw it has, or the obnoxiously large knob for a car this small, it’s quite fun to use. It’s a bit goofy looking though, as unlike a Miata or other small cars, the shifter isn’t really scaled to fit the car. It’s genuinely like shifting with a pool ball the size of an orange. Also the chrome cover looks a bit tacky but it doesn’t feel bad, in case you were worried.

0-60 happens in the low 6 second range (6.1-6.4 s apparently), which might be on the lower end of modern sports cars but it’s still enough to outrun most of the bland monotonous garbage you see on the road. And usually being that small and low elevates the feeling of speed. Maybe it’s the interior dimensions negating the “low and small” feeling of the car. Or maybe part of that is due to just how “peaky” the engine’s output is. If you look at the HP/Torque curves, it’s an uphill battle throughout the rev range.

Power doesn’t come on till 4, and peak torque until around 6. So while it makes fine numbers for it’s size/weight, you really don’t feel much of anything until you’re well on your way. It’s a hopelessly gutless hot hatch below 4000 rpm, and as fun as it is to wring out, you do have that nagging thought of “it’s an early supercharged mini, when is it gonna fail?” In the back of your mind when you do so. It’s like an asthmatic marathon runner, eager to be pushed to the limit, but you know he’s gonna be done for by the end.

The 1.6 L supercharged engine is still a fun little motor. Although it does just sound like your neighbor is vacuuming in the apartment below you. Sure you have the supercharger whine come in past 3-4000 rpm, but that just piles a genuinely cool little sound on top of “generic_car_noise.wav”. And the complaints don’t stop here. For a little 1.6L in-line four that revs a little past 7000 (forums say around 7200 rpm), it feels like there’s a lot of inertia. It doesn’t really want to change speed, and takes its sweet time getting up past 7. And then when you left off, there is pretty bad rev hang here. The needle will just stay at whatever rpm you let off at for around 2 seconds, which is not a lot but sitting and watching the tach begins to fall does feel like an exercise in patience.

Which is a shame because once you do (eventually) make it past 4000 rpm, the engine does actually come alive. It doesn’t particularly sound much better, though you do finally have a super charger ready to do it’s thing. So when you do power out of a medium/higher speed turn, you’re in boost and ready to ride whatever the engine has left to give through corner exit.

So, should you buy one? I don’t know, that’s your money, why are coming to a website with an ass as it’s logo for such sage advice? It’s a fun little nugget of a car, the interior is a cool if not worn place to be, and the exterior shouts “early 2000’s mini”, with its bulges and front fascia underbite. It’s a generation before they started to be designed much cuter, but in an ugly rat dog kinda way, it’s still stylish (though I do find the mini to be more amicable than one of those purse bound rodent-canine chimera abominations). Prices to pick one up are low, however maintenance is still BMW-high. And it will fail eventually. Those superchargers won’t last forever. If you want a well styled, flat cornering, FWD hot hatch, then maybe it’s worth looking at. It’s a chuckable little nugget that puts a smile on your face. And it’s not a Golf GTI. It’s a Mini! How cute! How British! You can rest soundly at night knowing that you didn’t just capitulate to the obvious. And from that, you’ll be treated with something more unique, more focused, and honestly more interesting to experience. Hope that helps!