I, dear reader, have a problem: I’m a sucker for Italian shit. I like their food, their deserts, their countryside, their music, roads, attitude towards historic rally festivals, and more, pertinent to MSIMA, their cars. Especially their older crap. It’s gotten so bad, that I actually have a spreadsheet with over 40 cars on it as a database to iron out which Italian car I’ll actually want to lust after this week. So, as an excuse to share with you my unhealthy habits of window shopping the exact types of cars I’d buy once I’m out of grad school and “a fully functioning adult”, I give you this article.
Is it particularly inspired? Probably not. And there is a bias here. And I’m not sorry, Lamborghini. Also, you should expect the prices here to range between, say, $3000 to around $80,000. Anyways, in no Particular order:

10. Lancia Fulvia Coupe (Series 1 and 2)

Am I predictable? Ya know what, don’t answer that because I don’t actually care. Its a Lancia, although I probably haven’t chosen something very original. There are a lot of variants of this FWD v4 powered car. But the Berlina Sedan I’m saving for another article, and the Sport Zagato is mentioned right below this. Anyways a 1.2, 1.3, and 1.6L v4 was offered across frankly way too many trims and model variants. Coupes, Coupe HFs, Rallyes, Rallye HFs, ‘S’ versions of those… and then you had the all three of those blocks thrown at them…

The 1.2 made a max of 79hp, the 1.3 made maybe 100 hp, and the 1.6 made a max if 130 hp in the S1 Rallye 1.6 HF and 113 hp in the S2 1600 HF. All this to say, none of these are particularly fast cars. Shouty, chuckable, beautiful little lightweight things for sure. But an overloaded Honda Fit will probably beat you in a drag race. You shouldn’t care though, because you can brag about owning a classic 1960’s Italian sports car. And it’s a Lancia! Anyways, running ones that shouldn’t explode can be found in the teens or low $20,000 range. Average prices are in the mid 30’s and get higher the more numbers and letters are attached to that model. So, you could buy a used GR86 or an STI. Or, be a fucking legend and get your grubs on a Fulvia.

9. Lancia Fulvia Sport Zagato

Its just like the above Fulvia, buuuut it’s got a Zatago designed body. So, that makes it more desirable right!? Ehhh maybe. There seems to be a consensus that while the Zagato designed sports are cool, they aren’t as pretty as the regular Fulvias. So while the normal Fulvias will be cheaper, decent running Zagatos range from the mid-20’s into the 60’s for the majority of these aluminum re-bodied cars. So, while not as cheap as, say, a 1.3L Fulvia, you are getting yourself a genuine Zagato rebodied Italian sports coupe and a Lancia. Its different and a “cheap” way into the special car club without shelling out way too much for a Fulvia Rallye.

Also, the Series 1 cars were weirder than the Series 2. For one, they had hoods hinged to open to the right. Also, the S1’s only came with the smaller 1.2 and 1.3L v4, meanwhile the S2’s also had the 1.6L. The S2’s are also 2+2 coupes, while the S1’s weren’t.

8. Ferrari 400/412

So this one is infamous for being the first Ferrari to have an automatic transmission, and loves to make the rounds on car magazine lists for “cheap” Ferraris. And then the fuel injected versions committed crimes against engine-kind to those poor Daytona derived v12s. However, not all came with those god-awful GM 3 speeds. They also offered a 5 speed manual. And that V12 was derived from the Daytona but with different carbs and bored out for the 400 and 412. The 400 GT is carb’ed, the 400i isn’t. So, you cheap bastard (relatively at least), you’ve gotten a larger displacement Columbo V12 for, if the stars align, somewhere in the 50’s or 60’s! Will it run? Fuck who cares, I can fix her or go broke trying. By the way, these had hydraulic self leveling suspension. I wonder how much that costs to replace.

7. Alfa Romeo 916 GTV

I saw one of these in person in Europe and now I lust after them. And yes, I know you need to import one, but they’re legal finally! And yeah, I realize that they aren’t the most graceful around a corner. And I know, they’re FWD, with a v6 in nose. But its a Busso v6, and if you have the 24V 3.0L, it revs to 7000 rpm. Your similar year BMW s52 engined cars can suck my chode. And, like, look at it. It’s wedgy, has those weird ass headlights… and that Busso v6… I found one for sale out of Georgia for $12,000. And if one of you gets to it before I do, I will level a city. By the way, they’re even cheaper in Europe. Grab the GTV Cup while you’re at it, it’s just a visual thing mainly, but personally I think that’s the peak of this car’s styling, and you will not argue.

6. Alfa Romeo Spider (Series 2)

Another Alfa? Yes, and get used to it.

Anyways, since owning my crappy little 2.8 Z3, convertible sports cars have earned a special and unhealthy place in my heart. So, this alfa is a natural extension from owning that car, if you can believe that. I actually considered trading my Z3 in for one at one point. So, why the series 2 (1970-1981) specifically? Well, they lack the awful plastic bumpers and attempted electronics from the later 80’s cars, and unlike the arguably more gorgeous 1960’s series 1, I could actually afford one of these with money left over to import a 916 GTV. You can get a range of engines, from an 88hp 1.3L i4 to a maybe 130hp 2.0L i4. They also came with Alfa’s SPICA mechanical fuel injection system in the US. And the forums have yet to settle the debate about whether its better to send your pump out to a guy in Michigan to rebuild your pumps for more power or continuously fiddle with carbs. Also, for those interested, the bumper conversion kit for the US cars is cheap and all in, it’ll be around $1000 including the bumpers.

Anyways, unsurprisingly, it’s a pretty Italian convertible. It’ll drive well enough, has enough of an aftermarket support system, and did I mention how nice I think it looks? Now imagine it driving, looking that good while that Alfa i4 barks and yells into the countryside, all the while you’re playing this through whatever audio device you’ve got as you drive out to “have a nice time by the lake” with the Ms. You can get these running needing a bit of TLC for, say $6000. Less if you look hard enough.

5. Fiat 850 Spider

Finally, a break from the Alfas (for now)! So, what on earth is a Fiat 850 Spider?

Well the Fiat 850 is a rear engined platform developed by Fiat for the 1961 model year. It was a sedan, a coupe, a spider, a minivan, a van, a SEAT for longer than it should’ve been, a few weird coach built projects, and a few “hot” Abarth versions. It’s also small and makes no power. Like, the standard engine offering was a 34hp unit. But, we’re looking at the all mighty 850 Spider! So, an 840cc engine and a whopping 47hp! Oh yea, performance baby! Now, is there any reason above goofy ass cute car that I can throw at you as to why I like this thing? Say, is it cheap? Uh, well you can get one starting around $5000, but really the ones that haven’t rusted themselves to oblivion are in the teens. So not particularly great bang for your buck.

But. The race cars on the other hand. Here’s one that sold for $7400. Turn key, ready to go historic Italian race car. Now that’s the shit I’m after.

4 Alfa Romeo 164 Q4/QV/S

Alright, you want a Busso v6 AND 90’s Italian Electronics? Behold, the 164! The QV and S variants came with the 3.0L 24V Busso, and you could get it with a stick. The downside to this is that your sports sedan is FWD. So that prick in his $2000 e36ti will be laughing at your $3500 Italian barge. No worries, for surprisingly not a lot more, you can have yourself a working AWD Q4! So, now you have AWD to let that beast of a v6 transfer all… uh… 229 hp to the road. Ah, so these aren’t very fast. But they are, at least to me, interesting little things. Also, behold, the pininfarina wall of buttons:

I want to push all of them. If that alone isn’t worth the $6500-$12,000 asking price over buying a bunch of amazon toggle switches and a 2×4 plank of wood, then I can’t help you.

3. Fiat Dino Coupe

Oh the original Ferrari Dino. Those curves, that sweet v6 race engine, and… well that price. So, fuck it, what can I afford? Well, in order to homologate that engine for formula 2, Ferrari needed to build a bunch of them. So, in a deal with Fiat, the aluminum 2.0L and iron 2.4L were put into the front of a new GT car. The spider is outta this price range, that’s a six figure car. The regular coupe however, now that’s the spice. They hover in the 40’s till the 60’s, but you can find them in varying conditions in the high $20-30,000 range, if you don’t mind a wee bit of work. Is that a good idea? Probably not, but that hasn’t stopped the market stalking though.

2. Alfa Romeo GTV 1750/2000

And there it is! You waited for it, I still see these when I close my eyes (help me), and my Facebook Marketplace algorithm has been trained to show me these GTVs at the top. Do I need to really explain my love affair with these? Don’t be a half sender, grab a 2.0L and empty your wallet buying crap from Alfahaulics, you glutton. I know I will if I get the chance. You can find them in the $40-55,000 range, or you can dig. Does it need to be perfect? Low miles? What about if it was originally a 1.75 swapped to be a 2.0? I sure as hell don’t care, and you’ll turn a blind eye to a mechanically sound but visually challenged car when it pops up for sale at half the price of a pristine one. Better if its modified, I’m not a purist. Means I don’t have to ship out my SPICA pump! And even better if you don’t care about the smaller engine, half sender.

Honorable Mentions: The Maserati Merak SS (Post-Hydraulic Everything)

There are plenty trident badged cars I have an odd little thing for. The new MC20 just looks the shit, and those early 00’s cars keep whispering sweet nothings into my ear on Facebook marketplace. My physiatrist told me to ignore them and just take my meds. Anyways, ignoring the wealth of depreciated ‘ratis’ from the current melinia, and putting the Biturbo and Barchetta Stradale in out back pockets, lets look at the Merak. Because the Bora is too expensive to me right now. So why isn’t it on this list? Uh… I set it to be a top 10, and rambled about basic bitch Alfa Romeos I could realistically afford by 2028. Also, Citroen hydraulics scare me, and the Euro cars are loaded with those until the later years.

1. Ferrari 308gt4 Dino

Yes yes we all saw the Top Gear challenge and Hagerty video. I’m not bothering with the badging or the history (brief: first mid-engine v8 Ferrari, and that 2.99L v8 was iterated on until the 2000’s). Like all these stupid cars, I just really, genuinely, like this Italian four seater wedge. And I really can’t tell you why. Even I think it doesn’t look great in some angles, and god help it with US bumpers. But then again… look at it. With euro bumpers, lowered a bit… fuck it I’ve been thinking about driving one for waaaay too long. Booking it onto a back road, three other idiots the car, Ferrari flat plane crank v8 revving its little heart out. The European cars weigh in at a bit over 2500lb, and the engines (optimistically) produce around “255”hp and 210 lb-ft of torque. Which is probably enough for one of those. If not, there’s even an aftermarket for these things, with prices ranging from expected to $40,000 heads wtf?

Now this by far isn’t the cheapest car here. But it is a Bertone styled Ferrari that was originally badged as a Dino, so the pretentious dicks haven’t completely ruined it yet. BAT shows an average price in the mid to upper $50,000, although the trend seems to show an increase. Also European models seem to be a bit cheaper, more so if they’re from the UK. Which is fine, those look better anyways. I’d even try and find a high milage modified car, because that means some schmuck bit the bullet for you.

Some other ramblings:

There are a lot of wonderful and wonderfully crappy Italian cars out there. I didn’t yet mention the Lancia Therma 8.32, or any number of mistakes I’d let ruin me financially if I realistically could. So, probably, there will be another one of these. Maybe. If I can be arsed.

Also, if we’re still kicking in, say, 2028, you bet your ass one of these cars will wind up both in my possession and reviewed on this site, so help me.