HOOOOLLLD ON TO YOUR ASSES YOU MIS-SHIFTED FUCKS, WE TAKING THIS TURN AND COMMITTING TO THE RACING LINE!

Ah the Ford F250 Superduty (hehe, duty), what a – THIS THINGS MOOOOVES LIKE AN EEL PUNTED FROM THE THIRD FLOOR!

We rented this for $20 in order to HAUL OUR LOAD of several sheets of wood that couldn’t fit within the wheelbase of a Fiesta ST. I bet you regret not buy a truck LIKE THE LORD INTENDED, HUH JUSTIN? B O Y I swear you done do things sometimes that just don’t make no sense.

Lowe’s was kind enough to disable any radio functionality but wise enough to allow traction control to be manually toggled, which shows their commitment to driving purity. We didn’t take advantage of that feature, but if we did, we might’ve left skid marks in our pants backyard. OH WHAT JOYS DOTH COME.

The steering isn’t done by the power of suggestion, nay, it works on the power of THE LORD ALMIGHTY. THE TRUCK KNOWS WHERE IT GOES, your INFANTILE grabbers merely grasp onto the wheel. You FOOLS.

Having sent this bloated behemoth of an actual work truck through a roundabout, I can confirm that it grips decently. Its weight and DUAL REAR TIRES probably help. Did we go that fast? Eh, but it felt like we did.

Acceleration you say? WELLLL BOOOOY YOU’RE IN FOR SOME SHIT NOW. That pathetic gas engine (unlike god’s chosen diesel) makes enough torque to vaguely throw your ass back into your seat to question your life’s choices. Is it genuinely fast? Eh, but it FEELS LIKE IT. And it’s fucking massive, so go and take whatever driving line you want, the plebeians will adjust their trajectories accordingly.

For $20, I think you should rent one and Autocross it. Fuck it right? Do it. Come on and do it, be a damn legend. What’s the SCCA gonna do? Ban you for life? Go to a college kid run event (like at Clemson, perchance). The SCCA can’t hurt you there. No one can.

Anyways, we drove the work trugg. It had a lot of torque, it hauled lumber, and we drove like morons. Worth all $20.