Racing a train is all good an fun, but is that really a good test of a car?

Yes.

But for all fairness, someone ought to drive a Type R for real to see what all the hype was about. Because these cars were not built for highway cruising.

Fortunately, through a very strange series of events I was thrust into a slightly older, much more prepared CTR then was given no instructions beyond, “go fast”. My conclusions? God I suck at autocross.

The first thing you notice about any FK8 civic is that it’s absolutely massive. These are long, wide cars with big vents and molding every where. And the ever subtle Type R takes this and cranks it up to 27. The FL5 is far from a normal looking car, but it has nothing on the FK8. Its got spoilers on spoilers on spoilers. I’m not 100% sure if any of them work, but frankly I do not care.

The exterior styling may be amazing, but the interior does feel a bit lacking. The Civic Type R can cost upwards of $40k, which given its performance is expected, but the feel of the car is quick to remind you that you’re driving a Civic. This car feels really cheap.

Now I might be a bit coddled from years of driving luxury Jeeps and Volvos, but this car is the same price point as those. The panels either feel like un-engineered plastic bits or utilitarian sheet metal. The shifter is super precise and effective, but it still feels like it was some parts that a racing team installed rather than something bespoke by Honda. This car has to compete with things like the Audi S3/Golf R, and while this old FK8 can crush new ones on the track, you are quickly reminded that you didn’t pay the extra 2k for the German version. Are the panels real carbon fiber? Fuck yeah they are. Are they really chunky for carbon fiber? Perhaps a bit.

On the topic of chunky, this car is more hypocritical than an “Alpha male” on tinder. This might be the widest hot hatch ever made, sitting on some astoundingly thicc 255 tires, but if you got more than a 24 inch waist, getting into this car is a commitment. Not to say those seats don’t have a purpose. The Type R has real bucket seats. Not some sort of luxury alternative to bench seats, this is the real deal. Comfort wasn’t even in the top 5 thoughts for these seats. They are meant for 1 thing and 1 thing only. Holding you in place.

This brings me to why your here. Somebody had to race this big bastard to see what all the hype was about. Sure it might be fun on the open road and carving up canyons, but you could do that just fine in a Saab or a Sentra. The Type R does what those things can’t do, be actually fast.

Once you get this car off the line you notice two things. Firstly, wow that is a really short first gear. Then you hit a cone. Then another cone. Then another. I learned to race in a GTI and my ability to place a car is still largely based on that footprint. You’d think that any other hot hatch would be about the same size, but you are so wrong. This car might grip the ground like a grizzly bear on a salmon, and the roll center might feel like its 3 miles to your right, but that doesn’t mean its tiny. This car is thicc and it lets you know.

Once you figure out what state the passenger seat is in, you can actually open up the car.

All that grip is pretty handy with how you need to drive this car. While it does make a truly astounding amount of horse power and torque, its got a big turbo under the hood so you need to keep those RPMs up if you actually want to use it. Its heavy enough that you might need to slow down for some corners (or maybe I’m just a chicken), but as long as you keep it above 4.5k that nearly 300hp will shove you right back up to speed. Now if you’re a dingus like me and have to slow down a bit too much for a hairpin, it doesn’t punish you if you hit the throttle a bit too early. Honda put a god tier differential into this thing meaning it won’t get all pissy and understeer because you need to get back on boost at the apex. It also makes it a bit more forgiving of multi-inputs. One of those two things.

Once you get it back up to speed you find yet a new problem, 2nd gear is really short too. For some reason Honda put really short gearing in all of the Civics, with 2nd gear maxing out at only 57 mph (at least that’s what I got it to) in the Type R. And that’s the longest geared Civic. Not that it matter though, because this baby has got a 6 speed, just keep bangin’ gears.

Where most hot hatches are meant to be fun commuters, the Type R seems to just chuck that all away. Its clunky, uncomfortable, looks kind of weird, but it is faster than any other hatchback in the U.S. And quite a few sports cars too. It might be a bit chunky, but it ain’t fat.