Monolithic castings of unbent equilateral smoothness. Hard to fault for sure. Saab was always generous with their offerings to the tri-spoke elitists, but the already bizarre 9000 4-door turbo hatch sanded down this idea into perhaps its purest form, sized very well to the car’s body and only finished in a sensible silver.

Bring back center cover caps.

Cadillac once decided to take a crack at standardized parts. You know, for cost cutting and whatnot, the thing their brand is known and loved for. One curious consequence of this was the bizarre 6×115 wheel hub pattern of the SRX (and honorable mention, the Chevy Uplander) ending up on the STS-V. Looking for aftermarket wheels for your sports yacht? Stocks or Forgestars, sorry champ.

Much as I love the lowrider scene and the particular wire wheel that defined it, this Dayton wheel was the one hauling ’64 Chevys into the dealer showroom. These cast iron dually units were present on most American trucks from roughly the Cambrian Era through the 1980s. These are two-piece wheels where the outer barrel is anchored to a hub with locking tabs (seen here in silver). A Dayton wheel barrel differs from the potential energy laden split-rim widowmakers of ancient times, but the tabs will still kill you if undone carelessly. They sure are pretty!

I can’t tell you much about these bizarre forged testaments to mankind’s hubris and frankly it’s not in the terms of my tenure as an educator to do so. You, like me, just have to cope with the fact that they exist out there in the world. I do not believe they are available in sizes smaller than 22″, and seem to be mandated for installation only on the Urus, Cullinan, Bentayga, and similar scrap metal.

If you’re the type to shop by volume of wheel-per-dollar (vWPD in expert terms), a set of these 14″ alloys may well be the bottom of the barrel. That is not at all to say they aren’t fantastic and I wouldn’t fork over the cash. There are few slicker looking rims than CF48s with contrast-color branded aero covers (not pictured). $3,200 for a set makes the price of a Honda to install them on hardly consequential

If you want to talk about a silent hero of global industry, look no further. Any caster wheel afficionado (check my resume) will tell you this bad boy is the one you want to see on all four corners of your lab racks. Nothing handles quite like it. I have personally watched these things get blasted in a steam pressure autoclave for hundreds of cycles before the bearings disintegrate. Bonus points for the toe-kick brake tabs.

Too often falling into the shadow of AMG and Brabus, Lorinser is the unsung hero of gaudy (affectionate) overstyled and overpowered Benzes. Their selection of wheels was top tier. Custom monoblocks aside, these multi piece SLR blades are a personal favorite by far. Got an SL55 for a few grand off your dead neighbor’s estate? Slap these things on and you’ve got a McMerc that won’t crack in half at the sight of jack stands.

A PSA to old rich “car” “guys” of America: Detroit Steel has been around for a bit now and you can stop putting Foose wheels on your “classic”. No more Foose wheels, please, it needs to end. If I see any more rubberbanded gloss black 20s on ’68 Chevelles, I am going to explode. I’m almost begging.

No offense to Chip Foose the man.

These are the best classic car wheel, full stop. Squarebody Chevy guys are borderline chemically dependent on them.

These wheels cost $3,350 a piece but just ignore that for a second.

It took ELEVEN (11) FORZA GAMES for them to add wheel spacers and the P101 was my saving grace every single time. When all else failed it was a sleek, simple wheel with a strange illusion of more offset and depth than any other option. This was a small step toward curing the massive fender gap of “Forza fitment” which countless cars were modeled with. Thank you HRE.

Yeah the RS! We’ve all seen that one!

Nuh uh, look at this. Though it uses a standard BBS center section, the keen eyed among you will note the multiple miles of added wheel offset. They could only have gotten this idea from Willy Koenig and, well, his tuner specials what were so wide that these alloy sewer pipes exist only in service of them.

That’s a 15 x 13 if you must know.

At risk of invalidating everything presented so far, this is best wheel.

The phone dial steelie picks up where every other wheel throws in the towel. Your junkyard jack stands, emergency spare, snow wheels, rally set, track day set, for only $69.98 on sale at Walmart.com. The steelie is integral, a load-bearing wall of global transport infrastructure, and they look damn good on virtually anything. No notes.

Since their debut, these hypebeast hubcaps have existed at a curious overlap of honors-student senior industrial design capstone project and a dark corner of an AI upscaled car culture neck-deep in a plague of instant gratification. I do like me an Aerodisc, but I see an added feature in them of defining the cars owner based on the applied decal. Turbo arrow? Respectable. BBS weave? You mean business. Donut? Silly goose. Dino nuggets? Avoid at all costs.