From the desk of Daniel “Pinecone” Verona.

A few weeks ago, I was informed by folks back in my homeland that a mysterious new vehicle had been added to our fleet. Not quite a replacement, but a complement to our long-suffering V6 Accord. Some time later, I was sent a blurry photo of the machine in question, a flat white 2007 Volvo S60. As my Forester and I trekked home from the far north, I remained eager to experience it firsthand.

In short, this car looks like a bar of soap, and drives like the leather couch in your dad’s self-declared man cave. The paint has no flake or lustre, the light lenses are free of fog, and the split-spoke wheels have yet to be curbed. If you lower your expectations just enough, it is perfect.

Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

As for driving impressions, it’s difficult to list anything particularly distinct. If you view the car from a purely “normie perspective” you certainly will not have complaints, and I daresay most enthusiasts would feel similarly. This front wheel drive 2.5T model is not an S60R. It never will be, and it’s certainly not trying. The turbocharged DOHC inline-5 does not make it an Audi Sport Quattro, and the 4-speed auto box ensures that you know this.

Only when you take these messages to heart can this car be truly appreciated. Despite my previous statement, this engine has great character. It makes roughly 200 HP at roughly 5000 RPM, and the specifics don’t matter. For this small sedan, it provides plenty of power to land you in a ditch for running out of skill. The turbo operates at low boost, and provides excellent response to boot. The transmission, as mentioned, is a 4-speed automatic and a prime candidate for where the term “slushbox” might have originated. It’s geared long, and shifts with no sensation. These factors make for extremely linear, almost unnoticed acceleration that suits the car’s natural environment well. As was once stated in Regular Car Reviews, “this car does not accelerate, it advances“.

Despite a lack of drama, acceleration is available aplenty, and the handling certainly backs it up. The steering is light but direct, and makes up for the complete vagueness of the pedals. Body roll is surprisingly minimal, and though the car is extremely planted on the road, it avoids feeling heavy or ungainly as our chronically torque-steering Accord sometimes did.

Moving on to the interior, no car has pleasantly surprised me this much in many years. Even during my last auto show visit, and having a thorough sit in whatever is new and cool from BMW, Lexus, and friends, I have not been in an interior that executes pure, simple comfort this effectively. The cabin is a deep, cave like space filled with smooth curves and substantial blindspots. The latter is of little concern as your mind fills in the gaps created by the low windshield angle, but the materials is where this space really shines. Whoever they may be, Volvo had the right people designing seats for the S60. The way the seats compress is only comparable to that one old, leather couch that everyone’s friend had opposite their Xbox 360 in the basement, and they are just as easy to sink into for long periods of time.

Around you, the fake woodgrain does not go unnoticed, but it is well polished and not overused, and there are multiple mysterious holes for whatever use you prefer. The plastics have a certain degree of soft-touch texture to avoid the modern epidemic of surfaces instantly speckled with fingerprints. Little to no reliance is placed on screens for information. An LCD display or two is more than enough to keep you up to speed on your music choice and fuel mileage, and both can be adapted to the driver’s preferences, as can the seats with three slots of presets.

The use of these screens effectively sums up the attitude of the S60 as a whole. This car will give you everything you need whenever it is asked, without delay or any extra complication. The S60 is not up to the trends, specs style, tech or speed of our age, but is all the better for it.