Astrobionicle, a new Aerospace company spun off from Duke University has recently announced plans to dominate the in space Human health market. Amongst the technology they’re researching, their team of PHD students and ex-SpaceX engineers have been developing the technology for putting humans under some sort of hibernation for long duration space missions. However, during an AIAA conference, they’ve announced their intentions to offer the technology for private use on earth, after seeing a significant demand from car collectors.

“One of our investors, an avid car collector, saw potential in our research, and is interested in helping us put the technology to market”, one student said, “he seems to believe that if he can go into “the big sleep” for ten years, the profits from flipping his collection would be unheard of”.

Since their announcement, countless car flippers and collectors are lining up to invest and try out the new technology.

“You know how much money I’ve spent on these?”, says James Rochester, who currently owns ten 911 R’s, “I’ve told them to freeze me or whatever until they’re worth at least what I paid for!”.

We at MSIMA are unsure if such a day will come within the current millennia.

“I just recently procured a Ferrari SP3. But Ferrari has contractually obligated me to not sell the car for five years or risk being “taken to Sicily for a lesson”, says an unnamed Ferrari collector, “this way, I can just go to sleep, and wake up being worth $6 million more!”.

Astrobionicle has also been looking to further expand its reach, looking at potentially freezing investors until their stocks return a profit, and bankers during the next recession to help them wether out the pain.

We at MSIMA have applied to be test subjects in their program, aiming to be awoken once this site overtakes Jalopnik in views and reputation.