Share these listings with your friends to mis-shift into their asses too!

1. Fox bod disgustang

It needs not be said how valuable an untouched, though abandoned, fox body Mustang is in 2023. Retaining all original interior parts is an added bonus for any car of this age, and $700 takes home this example. That’s, what? The equivalent of an average week’s shopping for a parent of two? So someone please, put aside your family for a moment, buy this car, and give it what it needs.

Mandatory note: these needs strictly do NOT include a boosted Chevrolet LS V8 of any variety, powerglide transmission, tube frames, or Weld racing wheels.

Do better.

2. Porc with a side of fiberglass

“Car not included!” he screams, but to no avail.

The messages continue to pour in. “what is mileage on the car”, “why so cheap does it have engine”, “hello will you trade for AR15”, and on and on.

For anyone with a bit of cash saved, this Strosek kit (minus the performance tuning that accompanies it) could be a great option to spice up your 928. I’m not sure any owners of these cars are able to save money, but a man can dream. The hefty price does get you new bumpers, side skirts, and a dining room table of a spoiler in paint that definitely doesn’t match your car. But, I reckon for the right person this is the right way to attain a new look.

3. Some batssembly required

The dark night needs no introduction. He does, however, need an engine, chassis, and probably some transparent windows. Potential may be akin to wasted effort, but this husk of a car is so rich with the stuff that it’s hard to care. The seller is unclear how the body fits “almost all full frame chassis”, but I reckon anything is possible with a sawzall, JB Weld, and a few cases of beer.

On that note-

Get me a Roadster Shop frame and a Boeing turboshaft, STAT.

4. The rot consumes

And my Pontiac Gee Tee Oh is RARE because it’s the same year as all the other GEE TEE OHS but from BEFORE the other ones cause not 1965 but EARLY 1965!

Credit where it’s due, this rolling shell is not listed for a bad price. Even after the classic car boomer tax, $6,000 is not too hard an ask (even for what may well be a base model Le Mans). It’s clear that some thorough TLC could bring out the immense potential that even the seller sees in this car. A restoration would bring guaranteed success, but the less you change, the more oh-so-satisfying disruption this car could cause.

5. Please buy this before I do

I’m sure you would feel robbed if I concluded this list without one proper analog sports car. This ’67 International is an ideal RWD, manual, 2-seater, boosted V8 powered all-American machine. All of this is true, with some fine print, and there are a number of economical benefits. If your dually pickup feels cramped, and fails to accommodate your upscale lifestyle, upscale your truck! Trucks move the world of course, so this machine has nothing to prove. Ancient scripture states that a 2-stroke Detroit Diesel (in this case a 9.6L twincharged V8) is the most efficient method of converting fuel into pure noise, Cummins owners need not apply. The powerplant is backed by a 10-speed transmission and 8-wheel drive, so learn to shift and go prove your big man status!

Batteries not included.

6. All terrain pimpmobile supreme

Called “an American dream” in Pierce’s 1975 Road and Track review, none have doubted the Antique Swamp Buggy with Motors Amphibious Vehicle’s status as an icon of late 20th century design. This AWD drop-top coupe is listed for an incredibly low price, and presents a prime investment opportunity as an appreciating asset.

This custom example has seen some weather, but hardly needs more than a good cleaning. The original bodywork is adorned with rare options such as chrome trim, SKULL ANGRY GRAPHIC, and SKULL FLAMING GRAPHIC. The seller clearly recognizes what he has, and offers multiple new powerplants to motivate your pea green hoe magnet over any surface. Shame it only has two seats.