The 2019 Toyota Corolla Hatch is “a car amongst cars”.

Me my fellow Mis-shifted assholes and consumers of content, you might’ve noticed that this isn’t our first 12th generation Corolla review. This is because we will not rest until every base Corolla has been investigated and cataloged and not because we couldn’t get our hands on anything else this week.

You can thank my Brazilian pal and a fellow man of NASCAR aerodynamics for this gift upon the black asphalt we have to dissect today!

So what, we’ve driven a Corolla hatch before, a 2020 actually, and it was… a car. It was a bit more fun than say… a base level ford focus (and a nicer cheap place to be in as well), but a hot hatch this isn’t (despite the updated and aggressive looks of the car).

Oh the manual makes it more fun no doubt, and its not a totally hopeless transmission either. But first and foremost, this is an economy car, albeit one that you’ll not hate yourself for owning when you approach it in the morning.

It’s got an engine, it revs a bit past 6, and it’s about as gutless as you think. It moves the car, though not with any sense of haste, and all the while makes a faint buzzing noise like a mosquito in the background.

Does it wanna be reved out? Fuck no. And the manual doesn’t really add to you wanting to “rev the car out to redline, banging off each gear like a loony”… it’s just a lever.

But you bought the stick for a reason didn’t you. You sought this out so you can indulge in your vice you gluttonous car whore.

But as far as modern economy car sticks go, it’s not too bad. It’s vague and rubbery and all that jazz you get from a modern manual but it’s not that bad. Has a bit of a notch when it engages, has a long through, and gives a bit of tactility… essentially you won’t be mis-shifting into your ass here. 4th to 5th was hard to accomplish for some reason. Also, unlike a manufacturer’s performance devision that should know better by now (Hyundai N) the knob doesn’t look and feel like a flashy plastic toy whenever I touch it.

Wait it has rev matching? The fuck?

Ok so this economy car with a stick has a rev matching feature and it works really well. I thing it might’ve been better than a 118i or even a veloster N (but that might just be the surprise-ness talking). And you’ll wanna use you it too, not just because it’s a it of a pain to heel-toe rev match (you’re gonna need to really jab the gas) but also it’s just a very fine system. Press on the light and kinda dull clutch, the computer blips for you, and you can shift to your hearts content.

I get rev matching isn’t new anymore, but to see it wind up in a base Corolla and work well was a random surprise I wasn’t expecting… now go put it something faster Toyota.

Steering still felt artificial but was able to still tell what the car was doing. Dulled, yeah, but it didn’t feel weird outside of some on center slosh. The rest weighted up in a fairly natural way, with an odd eagerness to turn in like it’s a spastic bus.

The interior- ya know what, look it’s a modern Toyota Corolla. The touchscreen works with a little lag, the plastics are hard, the ride is comfy, and the powertrain sips petrol like a hamster while making about as much power. It is car.

But I enjoyed it. Probably went in with zero expectations unlike the last car I reviewed (stupid fucking Acura), so it was able to surprise me more. And although I drive a car from 2018, it’s engine is essentially between 7 and 25 years old, so obviously expected modern software comforts aren’t there (as is an oil temp gauge…. Subaru).

It knows the speed limit though it’s front facing camera so it can remind you to be subservient, it’ll auto blip on downshifts, the touchscreen isn’t anarchy, it won’t catastrophically implode at the money inconvenient time… this just IS car.

Plus it’s not a ford focus so @justinpierce1006 doesn’t get to win. Buy one and save yourself the DCT disappointment if you want. It’s fine for $17k, though there do exist perfectly reliable cars that will actually fill the performance void the ‘rolla’s aggro styling hints at (but refuses to deliver without big bad Gazoo Racing as backup).

But it wasn’t that dull of an experience. Most of these basic, light, manual economy cars manage to boil driving down to its most basic. The “tactile” side of things will never be great. But it’s an oddly pure form of driving.

Anyways, 7/10, would buy over a Prius C but would really just find a used FRS if I’m after some kind of performance.