The Polaris slingshot is a three wheeled abomination who’s only real mission is to try and slap a smile onto the face of it’s usually tasteless owner. Which is unfortunate because the car community at whole seems to view these pointless excuses for a serotonin release in a very unkind view.

Most of the owners of these over styled plastic bathtubs trying to pass as a road “car” definitely don’t help the perception in their quest to find out how many speakers can be piled on one. The outside perception of a slingshot owner usually boils down to a “ballin’ on a budget” attention whore of a manlet poser who’ll probably get into a losing fight when someone makes fun of his fogiato wheels. And while you can’t label every car owner’s modification as something “done for clout and attention”, Polaris Slingshot owners seem to really push that statement to its breaking point.

But if you’re able to remove that connotation, what exactly are you left with when you look at an unmolested slingshot?

You have a 1600lb, manual, RWD “convertible” that revs past 8000 rpm and will entertain you by breaking traction when you ask it to. It’s lighter than an NA Miata, has a shifter that genuinely feels mechanical, non-electric assisted pedals, and in some variants, an s2000 like redline. But it’s also a plastic bathtub with three wheels, no saftey, poor off the line traction, and worse cornering capabilities than a modern Miata, which can be driven in the wet, has AC, and won’t crash when a semi truck passes you on the highway.

A slingshot, it seems, is a high revving indulgence toy that desperately wants to satisfy the “dumb car” void in your life. And having driven two, it honestly can help fill that spot. However, at $35,000 new, you can very easily buy an Honda s2000, Corvette, or Porsche Cayman to satisfy that need too, while also owning an actual sports car.

So then what is the justification? Is it really just a clout chaser? The on paper specs make it out to be close to what a lot of petrol heads want, but then you look at one… and look at the price… and then you quickly start heading elsewhere.

But if you stick with it, keep your Miata in for the day, take a corner near the speed limit and feel the edge of traction, then power out till 8500 rpm and still have two more gears to go. Power doesn’t really come on till 6000, so you should probably get on with it. And after being a menace to the sleepy folks in rural Deland, you can make your way downtown for lunch, proud or ashamed that as you come down that main road, everyone’s judging eyes will have gazed in your direction, with or without the LED lights and music blasting. For you, it might be a weekend toy to fill some adrenaline starved desire for lightweight revs, but to the rest of us, ya just look like a compensating prick.

Look, I’ve been left confused about these dumb trikes ever since I drove two do them last year. That despite their awful Mr. 305 wannabe owners and stupid look, they’re genuinely fun things to beat the shit out of. I wish it had 4 wheels, 50 more hp, and a 10K rpm rev limit. The experience of spinning its tire on my quest to rev to the moon left me looking at used Ariel Atoms for a month to try and fill that void for a level automotive stupid I didn’t realize I had, and now my only goal is to force a poor 140k mile m52tub28 to be both a bmw i6 and a Honda F20C. Help me.