Hello all, I have located a usable WiFi signal while traversing a new, unexplored ring of hell. I have returned again to mis-shift into the prominent ass that is online journalism. And I appreciate all of you who bothered to show up for lecture. Recently, I found myself in another unique and foreign situation, in experiencing for the first time what a manual car can be in the modern age. Here are the learnings from my Kia Forte GT experience.
Where The Fuck Am I

Over the last year I have driven 5,000+ miles in a Subaru Forester nearly old enough to buy a pack of cigs. Driving said car is much like sitting atop a shipping container and being dragged down the freeway,
But its height, even for a compact wagon, had not struck me until I took the long fall down into the Forte’s driver seat. The leather was flat and cool, if a bit unforgiving, and reminded me of my favor for cloth. However, they made their comforts known as I drove on, with ample side bolstering and an efficient ass-cooker system.
As a side note, the use of brushed metal trim on this car accents its darker paint colors extremely well. The red grille and diffuser linings are less to my taste but are done in moderation.
Subaru I SEE you over there with your “sport” trim, get the fuck out of here.
Interiors reflect their occupants, and this is no exception. The 1.6L turbo four buzzed to life on a button, lighting the cabin with soft white-lit buttons and my legs in a wash of red LEDs. To my left, a blue digital display read boost pressure and other numbers I didn’t pay attention to. A scale model of the orange FnF Supra pointed ahead to my right.
I did not interact with any of the three screens in this interior.
Remember the future?
I pressed the clutch and shift into first gear to set off. The shift knob of choice for this build-in-progress was a comically large black metal diamond thing, protruding from a floral fabric boot. Had the car not been warm, it surely would have caused frostbite worthy of multiple amputations.

The comically large black metal diamond thing is certainly a better shifter than a cucumber or other local produce, but I would have preferred a classic PLA FaceMonsterCuboidant™ atop this notchy 6-speed. The short throw was jarring compared to the semi truck floor pole in my old Forester, but the clutch far lighter. The lack of response from the third pedal nearly brought me multiple stalls and a bruised ego, but the incredible ease of downshifting and rev matching stole my attention from there on.
WHAT DID YOU DO
Got to answer the question now. Why modify a Kia?
Well, having never driven a car less than eight years old and no Korean car experience to my name, I think I suddenly understand. The brand evolution Kia and their products have undergone in recent years has truly impressed me and I was eager to experience what they came up with. The result reminds me of something we thought dead in the enthusiast community. The Forte GT is a small, powerful, manual car that is simple to work on. If you lust for such objects, stop looking backwards.

The Subaru owner’s mind cannot comprehend maintenance without a battle with rusty fasteners. I witnessed this firsthand as this machine went through its own evolution. The suspension has been dropped on Whiteline springs, and the drivetrain braced with stiffer mounts. The latter of which produced a far more notable difference than I anticipated. The new suspension passed the Vans test without issue, a traditional rite of passage for those who want to GET LOW. The windows are lightly tinted, assuring a consistent 0% nighttime visibility, and an HKS blow-off valve provides entertainment up front.
For a small engine, boost comes on sooner and far more violently than expected. From 3,500 RPM upwards, the power is linear and comes with a far more aggressive wastegate note than expected.

First gear on dry pavement is wheel hop straight to redline, with some serious spinning in second. Front wheel drive? Yes, but no need for 30 seconds of rev limiter as Honda builders seem to prefer. In part, I think that sums up why this car has earned Kia a “carry on” and my approval. It is modest and compact, and can be used as such, but leaves you all the tools to be as silly as you please.
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