“As they say, The show must go on!”, said an F1 board member, “Especially when that show involves casinos selling “exclusive F1 experiences” for 7 digit sums and a completely sold out suite of general ticket and luxury booth holders”.

Yes, not only has the Las Vegas Gran Prix sold out of general admission tickets (from $500 for the privilege of standing in the Death Valley heat to $2000 to sit next to the Vegas orb and affront to god), but their partners have also offered exclusive luxury experiences that start at the million dollar mark.

However, with a looming strike of hospitality and service workers part of the Culinary Workers Union to demand such audacious requests as “actual wages and benefits”, the casinos and venues have turned to F1 for help. And after a swift board meeting presumably in a catacomb in Italy, they have decided to enact their emergency provisions.

In a leaked internal document, they have detailed a plan to keep the race and hotels running in case the worst happens. The following was detailed:

Formula 1 [Classified Document]

To [Las Vegas GP – Event group]

Cc: [Wagner Group, Bangladesh Call Center League]

From: Formula 1

To all those involved,

We have listened to your concerns with regard to the possibility of a 35,000 person strike during the time of the Las Vegas Gran Prix. We understand the complications that may arise in the attempt to rectify “the issue”, and therefore are holding Plan B on standby.

The final implementation will go as follows:

1. We will rent out a fleet of cargo transport aircraft to fly in 35,000 workers rented from various call centers and textile mills throughout Bangladesh (to be stationed at a hanger).

2. Using our contacts from Uralkali, we will utilize the leftover Wager group mercenaries imported from Africa to “peacefully relocate” the protesters from Las Vegas.

3. Our Bengali friends will take up these positions for the next two weeks at a fraction of the price. Additionally we can tell our clientele that their participation in the event is benefiting these people’s developing nation.

4. Nevada border control will be deployed to catch any escape attempts by our new workforce.

5. Attendees will be able to come and enjoy the event without a drop in quality expected from an exclusive Motorsports event.

6. Bribe government officials and press into submission with free VIP passes and a picture with Lewis Hamilton (as we have done in most street circuits)

7. …

8. Profit

We understand that there may be reservations, however we are still open to discussing the finer details and legality until one week prior to the event, upon which plan B will be enacted in its entirety.

Wow! We at MSIMA can’t wait to watch the Las Vegas GP! Reporting live and blissfully form our free VIP booth with exclusive benefits to tell you all about the Las Vegas GP experience! ঈশ্বর আমাদের সাহায্য করুন