A review by Comrade Zdzisław

You know every night I dream about getting a Saab 9-5 wagon. I mean come on, with those looks and that performance, it would be worth it. Of course that is not what I have when I wake up in the morning and walk out to the residential parking lot to see my first car.

For the Americans out there this is probably one of the most basic cars you can buy in Europe, this particular one cost me less than a grand, it’s in the sturdiest condition you can imagine, and comes in a very chic-looking design (At least for the 2000s).

This particular car is the Active Eco model which is, for the most part, basic as shit. How basic? Well, let’s start with the engine.

A 1.1 litre 4 banger that looks like it hasn’t changed (appearance-wise) since the 90s, and it makes about 54hp from that unit. Now it’s not a lot especially compared to most 1.0-1.2 I3 turbo or I4 hybrid motors nowadays, but they ain’t gonna sound as good all coupled to a 5-speed manual or “stick”. Luckily this motor can still reach 60-70 mph which is what I only need right now.

You might be saying, “okay Com-rayde Zjee-slav, it ain’t fast, but how is it inside?” Well, glad you asked and as you can see…

It’s basic. No unnecessary bullshit, just everything you need in a car. Stereo, power windows at the front, heater, cubby holes and cup holders, hard touch plastics and at the back it can seat 2 more peeps (kinda, good luck trying to sit behind me) and the rear seats can fold down if I need extra boot space. Speaking of boot space, it’s tiny but it’s enough for what I need. I also get a space saver underneath the boot floor with jack and tyre iron provided (Which I’ve already used once). The seats are cloth which means they are infinitely better than leather and no cows had to be murdered, the headrests are rubber and not very comfortable however.

The gear lever feels comfortable but is a bit of a bastard to get into reverse sometimes, it’s positioning in the centre console is pretty nifty for changing gears quickly, the glovebox is sizeable but the fucking lid is a bit iffy and refuses to close properly, and sometimes it can open on it’s own.

“Okay, but how is it like to drive?” You may ask. Well…

It handles like a go-kart due to it’s light curb weight and nimble steering, it can struggle a bit on steep inclines but apart from that it’s good. The exhaust had been replaced but it still makes a throaty roar in the cabin while revving high on low gears.

It has a fairly small fuel tank but it can still manage 52 mpg (At least that’s what it says on paper).

The small size of the Panda also means I can get into tighter parking spots where most larger cars won’t be able to. Which makes me question even further about why the hell are car makers even making cars unnecessarily big nowadays.

So, to conclude.

It’s been a few months since I sat down to write this review, this car has had a few problems, shitty bushings on the lower suspension arms, bad wheel bearing, sticky left brake caliper (all replaced). And I neglected to top up the coolant which likely would’ve cooked the engine. I think it needs an oil change as well, and I’ve dinged it a couple times.

Before I got my licence I said to myself (and others) that my first car would be one that would be forgettable, a disposable thing I could abuse to death or wreck in the worst case scenario. Then I got the Panda and it’s become a trustworthy Italian runabout that I’ll likely never forget.

Real SAAB Hours can wait for a year or two. Right now I can count on the Panda to get me places.

Drive safe, towarzysze!