Another night like many others with our local group of idiots. One more rental, one more night of pushing the limits of what a commuter car was designed for. Welcome, mis-shifted consumer of content, to a night “with da boyz” : a 2024 Volvo S60.

We start off with just why this car is being driven. Someone’s Mustang GT350 is getting its engine dissected, and apparently the dealer thinks that a new s60 is the next best closest replacement. So, like that Corolla of yesteryear, the phone calls got made, group dinner had, z3 raced against, girlfriend advised to skip this one out, and four of the brightest men the universe has the dishonor of knowing all piled in for a night of automotive abuse.

So with that in mind, the poor car saw three different drivers, all with their own mandates from heaven.

New Volvos are cars designs to be idiot proofed (which is a challenge, because we are all, in fact, idiots). Not in the same way as a Nissan Altima yells at you when something is within 20 meters of the car reversing idiot proof. It’s more background level. The car is on tires that will grab the road like a horny college kid grabs himself on a lazy afternoon, is limited to 112 mph, has undefeatable traction control, and can essentially drive itself with minimal intervention. Its steering is wonderfully weighted, the chassis composed enough, but there’s a nagging feeling your Volvo overlords are always somewhere waiting to pull the strings.

This car more than any other modern car, gives me a weird feeling like I’m not actually in control. It’s like a secret society of safety engineers is lurking in the shadows, looking over my shoulder through cameras and sensor outputs. They’re reading my inputs, waiting to intervene and correct my actions to conform to the “new driving order”.

And while that might’ve all been a half assed attempt at making a conspiracy theorist joke, you do genuinely have to wonder why even have a human involved here. Because it can practically drive itself, enough to where you’ll be relegated to car babysitter and official occasional turn maker.

And for a bit, sitting inside the car will let you forget your diminished role in the driving process. It’s nice in here. Audio quality is high enough to let you sit back and become a vegetable, seats are lovely, materials are nice etc etc it’s a modern Volvo. Makes you wonder why more people don’t buy these, only to remember that a BMW is more fun, an Alfa Romeo looks better, a Lexus is nicer inside, and a Tesla can actually turn for you. But safety has to count for something right?

The awd S60 starts at $44,700, and at that price you’re getting a lot of cabin for your money, as well as a handsome car and Volvo’s safety obsession. Well, this car wasn’t the base “core” model with awd. And for that price, a bmw 330i xdrive comes to mind. It’s like a new Mazda, choice E on your Scantron exam. A car that makes a good case for itself as far as what your eyes see and hands feel, as long as you don’t expect g forces.

It wasn’t 2024 levels of modern fast but it moved fine. The best bit though, is the steering. It’s not modern car twitchy, and actually manages to give you really quite decent feedback. Like surprisingly good feedback. Like why does almost every modern car have to feel numb when this stupid thing managed to figure it out levels of decent feedback. Weighty, smooth, responsive… and in a Volvo of all cars. Match that to the sticky pirellis the car wore for some reason, and you’re met with an fairly responsive and planted car for day to day driving.

If you look at the data, is it measurably better than a BMW 330i? I don’t know, you think we can afford that level of data logging equipment? But from the seat of my pants the the back of my mind? It feels 2024 nice and communicates 2004 nice.

So then, why give us a car that feels, and please forgive the pretentiousness for a sec, “dynamically pleasing” then slap you across the face with the heavy hand of safety? You’d think that giving the driver a level of connectivity might be safer, but on the flip side, have you seen the modern driver on i95? Do you really wanna give Sheryl in her Suburban or Jared in his Flex any more inputs from the world of vehicle dynamics? Their poor brains would short circuit and cause the highway to be shutdown to cleanup the end result. Look of it were up to me, they’d be on buses and us in Porsches, and this debate wouldn’t need to be brought up.

Anyways, some mid level Volvo S60, it’s a lovely place to be in, a fine car to drive, and a safe little space to cradle your developing soft skull. Our writer @justinpierce1006 should buy 12. For me, I’d probably look at the alternatives, I’m still a sucker for a fun time over a comfy time. But if a BMW is too pretentious and a Mercedes C class feels like it’s material selection resembles that of a hospital bedroom, then this might just make sense.

Also, it cannot do full reverse doughnuts, just for the record.