Out of ideas? Nay, we are but the arbiters of the automotive, and as such, have found more quality works such as our own on the vast and open world wide web. Yes, we have uncovered a treasure trove of distinctive and pleasurable car reviews of cars only driven in Gran Turismo. Truly nothing else like it, let us dive in.
FYI: None of these links seem to work without major fucking around. The only way I was able to read them is to spam the reload button while going back and forth to the review list. Good luck.
Amidst paragraphs on-top of paragraphs complaining 300 horsepower is far far too much for such a vehicle of the American breed. Yes, our lovely author argues for the detuning and neutering of a Shelby cobra. Perhaps it’s just too hard to drive on a Playstation 2 controller, but we may never know.
After lusting after the Honda V6 instead of the plucky 4-cylinder that was put into the game, he then goes and shoves 370hp plus a racing transmission to rectify the situation. Frankly one of the greatest journalists of our time.
8. Citroen Xantia 3.0i V6 Exclusive
The Xantia obviously deserves a GT Car Review, it’s such an interesting car and I’m sure everyone would love to read everything about it! Oh wait. It’s not, and the author knows this too. I couldn’t put it better than him, “There’s not a whole lot to say about the Xantia V6 Exclusive”.
7. Dodge Copperhead (Concept Car)
What better car to review than one no one can actually review in the real world? It’ll definitely add some exclusivity to this godforsaken website, for sure. Naturally, this leads to the car being compared to an F1 car. One downside mentioned is the lack of color options, though.
Nothing makes a good automotive review website like a comparison test, and here we get just that: Mustang, Camaro and Challenger. As the article mentions: “All three cars did not receive oil change or maintenance for all specs & testing below. Engines were broken-in for all testing, though.” You know this will be a quality and non-biased review. All of this is spread out through 20,720 WORDS IN A SINGLE REVIEW (I’m not kidding) WHAT THE FUCK I AINT READING THAT SHIT
5. 1962 Prince Skyline Sport Coupe
Initially harping on about the vast amounts of Nissan Skylines in the video game and how impossible it is to review all of them, the writer then complains about the exorbitant price tag of $272,000 virtual money for a virtual car. We’re really going places here.
Oh boy, I’m sure this one is a doozy… Wait, throughout the entire article the term “2JZ” isn’t mentioned once? I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but it’s definitely a thing to mention.
Awww a beetle! Who can hate a beetle, there’s so much to love! Except in this article we get a full history going very VERY in depth about the big failed painter himself, Mr. Adolf. Just to be clear: YOU CAN WRITE A BEETLE REVIEW WITHOUT MENTIONING THE THIRD REICH IT’S NOT THAT HARD
In this article, the term splurge is defined and we are introduced to the “Ghetto rap driver named 2 Short” (I am not making this up) and is baffled by the lack of a wang on the rear end.
This review is masterfully crafted from the hands of a king, nay, a god. Relating the Prowler to a girl he wants to date was an exquisite use of word play, going as far as dreaming and lusting after such a car. Why read any other review, this is the one that takes the cake.
Leave a Reply