What does a Japanese econo-blob and a bloated British GT car have in common? Fuck all you might think. Well, fair reader, they’re actually the same car.

No. No no. No, stop it.

You’re really gonna argue this about the damn tail lights? Really?

Eat shit asshole!

ALERT, ALERT, MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT

THE MAZDA 323 IS REALLY JUST AN ASTON MARTIN DB7 IN A SUIT!

Our brilliant scientists at MSIMA have done the experiments and trails, removing the skin of a Mazda 323 like a goddamn banana peel. Yes, you may say “this is heresay!” or claim “Pseudoscience!”. Hell, you may even say “What kind of name is Mis-Shift into my ass?”. We’re here to prove you wrong! One thing everyone knows is Aston Martin has the highest amount of suit-wearing drivers over any other manufacturer.

As shown by the diagram above, the Mazda 323 is simply just AN ASTON MARTIN DB7 IN A FAT SUIT. Perhaps also with some minor cosmetic surgery, but who is to argue such an observation. Hell, I’d even go as far as saying the Mazda 323 stole the Aston Martin’s look! Scandalous!

So as we’ve discovered at MSIMA Laboratories, everyone who owns a Mazda 323 actually has an Aston Martin DB7, they just don’t know it yet. But if you unpeel the skin of that lovely Mazda, underneath is a butterfly of a vehicle.

The ASTON MARTIN DB7 BABY