Tag: Aston martin
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MSIMA Gets Ripped Off at the 2025 Miami Concours
In the wake of the most recent Epstein file release, we now have a glimpse of what it’s like to be a victim of the wealthy aristocrat lifestyle before they are taken to the island. Three Mis-Shift certified Assholes ventured into the hellish depths of the Miami Concours with the goal of having a swell…
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MSIMA “The Cars” of 2025 Awards
Yet another year of driving garbage. And occasionally something nice. Welcome ya fucks, to the “The Cars” of 2025! A time for us to look back and reflect on all the four wheeled abominations we’ve driven and reviewed this year. Except for me, as I am both above and incapable of self reflection. Hope y’all…
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2011 Aston Martin Rapide – MY ARSE IS FULL OF POLYESTER AND MY BRAIN IS FULL OF BEEEEAAAAANS
What’s that? A v12 Aston Martin? On your shitposting website? Yes. Yes it is. Fight me. This car was once sold for a starting price of $220,000 in 2011 money. They didn’t sell many of them, unlike the Porsche Panamera it competed against. And if you’re surprised by that, let’s swap brains so I can…
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Aston Martin Announces Road Going Version of their Valkyrie LMH Race Car
After getting spat on by a French bus driver, we finally made it to Le Mans! Following the announcements of road going versions of their Le Mans Hypercars (LMH) from Glickenhaus and Porsche, Aston Martin follows suit with their own version. Dubbed simply “the Aston Martin Valkyrie”, this road legal LMH car is more than…
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Head of Chinese Communist Party Caught in Buick Enclave
“That’s not a Buick!” Said the agricultural minister. His family hasn’t heard from him since. Due to Buicks recent marketing efforts, pure confusion has swept through the communist party, struggling to identify the poorly built American automobile. “I could have sworn it was a Buick, but upon closer inspection, it was my wife’s sister!” Said…
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The Mazda 323 is really just an Aston Martin DB7 in a Suit
What does a Japanese econo-blob and a bloated British GT car have in common? Fuck all you might think. Well, fair reader, they’re actually the same car. No. No no. No, stop it. You’re really gonna argue this about the damn tail lights? Really? Eat shit asshole! ALERT, ALERT, MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT THE MAZDA 323 IS…
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Aston Martin Threatens to Wipe Out Humanity (in about two weeks)
THE END IS NIGH, CONSUMERS!!!! ASTON MARTIN HAS FINALLY HAD IT. SUBMIT YOUR PITIFUL EXISTENCE BEFORE YOUR FALSE GODS, ASTON MARTIN WILL TAKE NO PITTY. THEY ARE HERE TO BRING FORTH OUR SALVATION. OH GREAT ONE, LEAD ME TOWARD VALHALLA. ALL WILL BE VANQUISHED! Or at least that’s what Aston Martin’s PR team told us.…
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Tales from the Inbox: Hypercar Hijinks
We received this email from one Maxwell Chetterston, who expressed grave concern about our validity as “professional automotive journalists”. Lmao alright dude: Dear so called Assholes, I have read through the sorry excuse for a humorous website, and I have many grievances with the affront to my eyes that I’ve had to behold. However, chiefly…
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2023 Aston Martin Valkyrie – Meeting Your Hero
The Aston Martin Valkyrie has been hotly anticipated by everyone in the automotive community since it’s first debut in 2017. Since then, countless issues have plagued the company, changes in ownership, direction, a pandemic, an f1 team, no more partnering with Red Bull, a bunch of design revisions, and FINALLY, the release. So what’s a…