From the the desk of the skinwalker, who is currently sealed at 6.5 psi under the rocky mountains.

Well it’s been a while since I’ve graced this site with a review but I got a good one for us today. The tale of a new car. As is common for the college student with a few too many fast toys, I have managed to get myself a few speeding tickets. So of course the natrual response is not to get more responsible but to buy a new vehicle, a solution to your previous issue. One that in fact, cannot speed at all. This car came after a much more interesting experience of mine, checking out a kids E36 328i, an automatic without vanos. Could have been a lot better, could have been a lot worse. Even at night the car looked rough so I can’t imagine what was going on with it during the day.

Well in the pursuit of excellence i decinded I would not settle for anything less than the best, or at least a hipppies idea of what was the best from almost 40 years ago. Now my car ownership has 1980’s, 1990’s, 2000’s. Ofc nothing newer, its always better to own 4 shitboxes than to have 1 expensive fancy car, at least I say to myself. There’s a lot to introduce about this car and man it’s a GOOD one (I swear it’s not another pontiac GTO).

I would like everyone in the crowd to welcome my 1991 Mercedes 300D 2.5 Turbo. It was the last of the 2.5 turbo cars in the US, at least the ones that were not in the shape of vans. This car was midway through the W124 years but before the scourge of the biodegradeable wiring harnesses. The powertrain is laregly from the W123 but this is by far the best version of the 2.5 turbo that the US market got. It retains a lot of the bizzareness that those old Mercedes products had, but luckily it makes use of some computer tecchnology. As such the interior controls are electronically operated rather than the cursed vacuum systems from days prior. And it has that old Mercedes bank vault quality to it.

Thankfully all of this madness was not too expensive, owing to the car having a few minor flaws. For the luxury you get, you pay the price in forward progress, because these things are SLOW. Brand new it cracked off a 12 second 0-60, fairly normal for 1991. 215k miles of wear later, its lucky to get under 15 seconds. Twice as slow as the average car these days, but in my opinion I enjoy it. You can’t just make moves, you must plan them, let the slushbox grab one of its 4 gears and lay down the 100 remaining of the original 120 horses. This thing is probably only letting 80 to the wheels after the drivetrain loses of a 35 year old tourque converter. For the first time in my life, I’m actually obeying the speed limit without also being about to fall asleep from boredom.

The first time I drove this car, I knew I needed to have it. The seller looked like the perfect kind of seller, old and kinda bored of it. The description was minimal, just that it ran and drove good. I saw the area that it was listed in and I was very interested. When I pulled up to the car, the driveway had a small bridge over it. I knew this place was not my zip code and not anywhere near my tax bracket. No judgement at all from the happy and passionate seller, he simply told me about everything and let me look all over it. I ran my fingers along the side of it and could not find a single flaw on the frame, just the smallest patches of surface rust typical for any car of that age.

Now sitting inside, the packaging is one of the most impressive parts about this thing. It feels much bigger than it is. The car skrinks around you when you are manuvering in tight spaces, the boxiness allows you to perfectly place every single corner of the car.

Now for the fun part, I waited for the schreeching of the glowplug alarm to stop, and the car cranked over a few times then quickly and happily started right up. It clattered a bit, and a little bit more than normal. But once you touch the gas all of the ills of an unabalanced five cylinder go away and it sings a quiet but mechanical song, smooth and bizzare sounding. As I looked around it I found that everytrhing worked except for the AC, which is sadly, an R12 system rather than a legal to posses R134a system. I’m happy, and I drive it home

By the end of the next weekend, I have it registered, thank the state of SC for making things comically easy and just having everything at the DMV (but man, it would sure be nice if the information online was organized in a way thats comprehensible and up to date).

After cleaning it up a bit, zero love was lost, in fact quite the contrary, more was gained. I stuck it on a lift and it was somehow even better than I expected it to be. Looking around underneath all of the flaws it had became immediatley apparent. The engine mount was a bit worn out, it was a little louder than normal because of an exhaust leak. Luckily, all should be easy fixes. It also has the occasional minor cosmetic issue but is otherwise a great car. There are definitley parts that it needs, but none of them are super expensive. This car should make a great driver for me, I look forwards to enjoying it more.