By Xaroula

When your kid starts driving you’re always thinking what can be the safest vehicle for them to drive, right? Well, that’s exactly what my boyfriend’s mother thought when she went through with the purchase of a 2007 Toyota Corolla CE, with 170k miles for his very first, and currently only, car in 2019.

And while you can’t expect much when it comes to class, taste, or driving skill out of a Corolla, you can expect one thing; the udder ignorance of a liberal!

No offense to my boyfriend, I love him very much, however, in November of 2022 he was complaining about some issues with the power. So, like anyone would, he took it into a shop where they found the original battery sitting in the engine bay that had been so corroded and so far gone that terminals had started to come out of the battery.

The actual battery out of my boyfriend’s car

I have pushed this car, somehow, to 112 miles an hour, which with the automatic transmission I did without realizing. It’s not quick, but remained magically stable as we passed the 100 mark, something my boyfriend was quick to note as he’d never actually gotten the car up to that. However, being the typical speed demon I am, I checked the tires and brakes and decided I could hit the top of the speedometer on the way to do some legal stuff halfway across the state.

Moving on, my daily driver is a sports car (a 1999 BMW Z3 Roadster) so my idea of what’s “good” in a daily driver is utterly warped. Let’s talk about the pros. This thing is relatively good on gas, seats five, and has enough trunk space to go head to head with a Lincoln Town Car.

The negatives though come from everything else to do with the car. In the center console sits two push-to-open trays, which have broken over the course of ownership history just from being used. I fully detailed the car a few months ago, a complete interior cleanout, which included a lot of colored and sticky messes you’d expect out of a minivan, where I came to learn that in the four years of ownership the car had only been cleaned of trash. If something spilled, it just sat.

The ill-fated interior of the liberal mobile

Which is why I am crowning this as the ultimate liberal mobile. Four years of stains disappeared with little effort, and it’s a Toyota, meaning it can run with little to no idea of what maintenance really is.

I was driving it the other night, as on days when more than just my boyfriend needs to be carried we must take his car, forcing me to the woes of the grueling slushbox. Now, I have no true hatred toward the automatic car, I understand that some people are unable to use the glorious manual transmissions, however this cars automatic is just smooth and boring.

I went to go play with the shifter to which I discovered that this thing moves from drive to neutral without any button pressing, a feature I haven’t exactly seen present in any other vehicle, and a terrifying one for someone like me to come about discovering. My boyfriend mentioned that he happened to have done this while driving, which just does not sound fun.

The liberal posing with his liberal vehicle

Moving on from that though, your standard features are there. You have your heat and A/C, both which work rather well, a typical radio, and some cupholders, this thing is truly a good vehicle for that.

But you don’t need me to tell you that , there’s three other Corolla reviews on this site already.

Overall, I would recommend this vehicle to your average Walmart employee. Or your nearest soon-to-be “revolutionary” who doesn’t want to harm the planet but does want to overthrow the government. It seats five, and can hold the bodies of at least 3-4 politicians (5 if you only grab the really old ones).

With good gas mileage, an easy to clean interior, the sportiness of white bread and the maintenance schedule that resembles your father’s last doctors visit, the ultimate liberal mobile is right in front of you in the 2007 Toyota Corolla CE.