Oh Williams F1. You plucky little buncha engineers might not be able to replicate your past successes in any capacity nowadays, but that’s okey. At least you can keep up with the modern times! And what’s that? You clever little bastards made an app?! Oh jovial summers day, let’s indulge.

Yeah so Williams F1 has an app. I don’t know why I’m surprised by this, but two of us dipshits for writers downloaded it during a long drive. Morbid curiosity maybe. Or perhaps doing our civic duty to the greater automotive world by telling you if it’s worth it’s digital weight it bitcoin.

And god damn it is this depressing. It reeks of a team that was caught using fucking excel for its parts database, leaked its full car cad files on the internet, and can’t figure out how to tie with Haas F1 for the honor of “sucking the most”. But then again, Haas F1 did start off promising for like three races during the regulation change. So what are you left with?

Not much to do honestly. You can buy overpriced merch, which you can do on their website. And watch exclusive content, that you’ll find on YouTube. Oh and you can “customize your driver card” and get “exclusive prizes”… essentially you get NFTs.

Because of fucking course the Williams App gives you borderline vaporware claiming to be special. You answer a survey that reminds you of when Williams actually used to be good, make a stupid profile “as if you ARE the driver”, and then get given some ugly photo from one of the races. Clearly, we as car obsessed 20-something year old STEM majors, are not the target demographic for whatever this is. And to be fair, I’m not sure who is? Like, I get wanting fan engagement, but did anyone in that meeting really not have a better idea?

The rest of this app is pretty self explanatory. Some race clips, some news, some bs quizzes, and some paid content that I’m totally going to give the time of day for. And it’s all kinda ugly, clunky, and confusing.

So, should you dear consumer, download the Williams F1 app? I think a degree in Political Philosophy would be a better use of your time.