The waltz of progress truly knows no bounds! And one MSIMA reader from 901 N Fort Lauderdale Beach Blvd, in Fort Lauderdale Florida (zip code 33304) has learned, neither does the shear brilliance of his Cybertruck:

from: tjjole1992@gmail.com

to: msimass.contact@gmail.com

cc: support@grants.gov

Subject: A Sacrifice for Progress

Dear so-called Mis-Shift-Into-My-Assholes,

I was driving home on my first post purchase drive after doing a lot of thinking about how I am the future and how ahead of the curve I am, proud to be a part of the most innovative company ever. And then I got to the garage. My nephew came out to greet me while I was piloting the peak of innovation, but at the very moment I was in the middle of a small steering correctio. The screen lit up with a message “catosphrophic steering and braking failure” and it continuing turning, with Timmy right in its path of the front corner. There was a yell and crash as the garage shelves found a new resting place and Timmy found himself slightly impaled.

Regretfully, I could not back up as the failure alert had fully disabled this car. Had this been a boring vehichle without micron precision, Timmy would have just been a bit crushed, but not entirely dead. But cutting edge technology is quite sharp, and with the combined crushing forces and bleeding, he was pronouced dead as Houston EMS arrived.

While this has been a very sad and unfortunate event, I still love my cybertruck, there’s nothing else like it on the road. Complete steering failures in the first 100 miles are incredibly common in most cars, according to @cyrptofuturism on X. It’s sad, but this is a part of progress, Timmy is a matyr for the future of all cars. Now I just wish my dumb cousins could help me to get these stains of my fenders instead of “greiving”

Disrespectfully,

Thomas J. Jole

One day, dear consumers, we will get our hands on a Cybertruck. Just you fucking wait.