Tag: news
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Aston Martin Threatens to Wipe Out Humanity (in about two weeks)
THE END IS NIGH, CONSUMERS!!!! ASTON MARTIN HAS FINALLY HAD IT. SUBMIT YOUR PITIFUL EXISTENCE BEFORE YOUR FALSE GODS, ASTON MARTIN WILL TAKE NO PITTY. THEY ARE HERE TO BRING FORTH OUR SALVATION. OH GREAT ONE, LEAD ME TOWARD VALHALLA. ALL WILL BE VANQUISHED! Or at least that’s what Aston Martin’s PR team told us.…
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Chrysler on Suicide Watch
Yes, it’s a sad time in the automotive space these days. Chrysler has confirmed the killing of the 300, leaving the overall Chrysler lineup to be only a single model. This one, glorious lone car is the Chrysler Pacifica. Yes, the legacy of Chrysler is left up to a minivan. With this news fresh on…
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Top 10 Gas Cans
This special editorial brought to you by SwedishDiesel Premium fuel Products™ Being the completely sane and rational being that I am, I have taken to collecting old gas cans. And no, that’s not to say I’m an arsonist. At these fuel prices? Hah, no way man. Modern gas cans suck. In an effort to reduce…
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Top Ten “Vehicle Weeks” at Daytona
Ah, Daytona Beach. Land of the sun, fun and an overwhelming amount of incredible car events to keep you and your silly little brain working. If you’re a broke college dropout with a beat up hawkeye or a gym bro with a truck that should be rated for Monster Jam, Daytona Beach has something for…
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Bulk Disposal Accidentally Takes Project MGB
Dave Verolla, 23, was shocked today to see that MGB he was restoring had suddenly disappeared from his lawn. Confused, because not only did the car not run for more than 30 seconds, but also it looks like such a nut job, he’d wonder why anyone would bother stealing it in the first place. “I…
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McLaren to Begin Recycling 12c and 650s
With a back long of unwanted early McLarens (mainly the 12c and 650s) that just can be sold, dealers have been asking McLaren for a solution. Many of these cars were either traded in for newer models, or lemon lawed due to fires or other mechanical “oopsies” (the proper McLaren terminology). Their solution: Ship all…
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Scientist Discovers Hidden Link Between Cybertruck and Porsche GT3
Hello, dear comsumers and assholes worldwide. This is a special report based on new information (mystery images) kept under high security (on a USB drive) brought to us by covert sources (the office mailbox). Included was the media you see below, and a bourbon-scented wrinkled index card which read the following: “Dear sirs. I write…
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2018 BMW M2 – WE IN DA M CAR NOW!
Remember Mini Cooper S kid? Who before that was Hyundai Genesis Coupe kid? Well, look who finally got their automotive shit together. Behold, ladies and gents, consumers of content, and loyal MSIMA reader: what Lockheed Martin does to a motherfucker! I’ve driven a non-competition M2 before. It was similar to this one, except it had…
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Micheal Waltrip Announces Renewed Partnership with AF Corsa for 2025 IMSA GTP Entree
In a move that surprised everyone and left many going “wait he’s still alive?”, Michael Waltrip has announced a renewed partnership with Italian racing team and close Ferrari partner, AF Corsa. Having worked together before to field Ferrari 458s in WEC and IMSA, a new partnership has begun to set out an operation to run…
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Record Number of Jeeps Swept Out To Sea During Daytona Jeep Beach 2024
Ah Jeep Beach. A time for jeeple of all walks of life to congregate at Florida’s hog crankin’, oval racing, meth taking crack hole on the coast: Daytona Beach. Every end of April, the great migration of around 25,000 Jeeps occurs, and for a weekend, this is Jeep city. Parties, music, vendors, auctions, and of…