Category: Car News?
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The New Mustang Makes me Angry
Goddamnit, I hate the new Mustang. Not the car, but more the reaction it is getting. Why are car people never happy? Do you guys want interesting car in the future? All anyone says is how they want a fucking race car for the road. Now you get it, you fuckers. What happens? It gets…
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Tesla Replaces Steering Yoke with Touch Screen
Tesla is known for making rash and wild decisions regarding their technology, and this is another interesting evolution of the car as a while. Coming as a part of the new Model S “Houndstooth” version, this is a screen that replaces the unconventional yoke found in the Plaid. “The waltz of progress knows no bounds”,…
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Will the Apple Car Come With Windows?
Leaked news about an unnamed project from apple amassing data from numerous auto manufacturers only leads to one conclusion: The Apple Car is coming. iHope your asshole is ready. Upon this early morning toilet time revelation, we at MSIMA Headquarters (an illegal basement underneaths Penske Motorsports this time) became consumer with questions, but none so…
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Dodge Aims To Cut Hornet Reliability In Half By 2026
Share this post with your friends to mis-shift into their asses too! Stellantis’ newest parts bin car has quickly gained notoriety in the automotive scene. This entity, known affectionately as the Dodge Horny, Alfa Romeo Toenail, or the worst-car-my-ass-has-sat-in-in-2023 has been doing numbers since its release. Not so much in the sales department, with overall…
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Alpine’s New Miami Colored a110’s come with “Themed Goodies”
To commemorate having made it to the prestigious formula 1 race held in the humid corner of America’s favorite state (that is Florida and you will NOT argue), Alpine decided to make some special edition “South Beach Miami Themed” cars, called the South Beach Colorway. We at MSIMA do wonder why a company is celebrating…
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Ferrari Requires Prospective Hypercar Customer to Buy Unsold Mondials
A leaked email from Ferrari North America to their dealership network introduces new stipulations in order to be allowed to purchase Ferrari’s cars. Ferrari is known for running its prospective buys through hoops and loader car purchases, presumably to give their clientele an exclusive owner’s experience and allow them to be well rounded in the…
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US Power Grid to Adopt Tesla NACS Port
The newest adopter for the Tesla designed NACS charging port was announced this week, as the US Government plans to switch from the Type-B Electrical Socket. The department of energy (DOE) had its engineers look into the possibility of using the NACS standard designed by Tesla to charge their EV’s for the past decade, as…
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New GR86 TRUENO Edition to Come With Toyota Branded Dildo
A surprise special edition of the glorified Toyota GR86 was recently revealed, hailing back to the original hype machine: the GT86. More specifically, this paid homage to the children’s tv show, Initial D. This show is hailed as religious in certain sections of Toyota fanboys, and it has been pulled back from hell kicking and…
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GM Aims To Be Banned From All Major Races By 2030
DEVELOPING STORY: Following an unexpected announcement, MSIMA has been gathering intel on General Motors and Chevrolet’s plan for their carbon-neutral future in racing. To recap, the 2023 competition rulebook of the NCCC (formerly known as the NHCAACC, or Nationwide Holy Council of All-American Corvette Clubs) stated in their most recent version that any vehicle equipped…
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New Company Aims to Freeze Car Collectors with Collection
Astrobionicle, a new Aerospace company spun off from Duke University has recently announced plans to dominate the in space Human health market. Amongst the technology they’re researching, their team of PHD students and ex-SpaceX engineers have been developing the technology for putting humans under some sort of hibernation for long duration space missions. However, during…