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2023 VW Touran – Touch Me Haptically
Wassup ya buncha featherless bipeds. I’ve got the keys to a VW Touran (whatever that is) and Switzerland as my playground! You know the age old debate of “good car – bad road vs bad car – good road”? This. This is that debate. God help me. But we’ll get to that later. First, the…
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The Parking Lot of a Rich Private College
How did we wind up at the Harvard of the skies? Dunno. But given the cost of this place, I think there’s gotta be some interesting slabs lying around for yo boys to take a goosely gander at, swearing under our plebeian breaths and empty wallets. I hope you, dear reader, are ready to have…
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Aston Martin Threatens to Wipe Out Humanity (in about two weeks)
THE END IS NIGH, CONSUMERS!!!! ASTON MARTIN HAS FINALLY HAD IT. SUBMIT YOUR PITIFUL EXISTENCE BEFORE YOUR FALSE GODS, ASTON MARTIN WILL TAKE NO PITTY. THEY ARE HERE TO BRING FORTH OUR SALVATION. OH GREAT ONE, LEAD ME TOWARD VALHALLA. ALL WILL BE VANQUISHED! Or at least that’s what Aston Martin’s PR team told us.…
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2024 Renault Captur – Held Captive by the Fr*nch
As an American car enthusiast, French cars hold a special place in my heart. Born too young to be able to laugh at the “le car” or harbor any nostalgia. born just in time to lust at current year Alpine a110s, Renault Clio Cups, and the first gen Citroen C4 Cactus. Forbidden fruit kept from…
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The Wild World of Modifying the Citroen Ami
Ah the Ami. Thank you Citröen, for making this little box on wheels. I know technically it’s hopeless outside of a city, however I did see a few that made it out into the Italian countryside, oh you adventurous fucks! The Ami is a wondrous vehicle, sorry, quadracycle, that aims to open up transportation to…
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Nissan Altima NISMO LEAKED!!!!
Nissan has had a long history of exciting Nismo products, and now their sporty 4-door sedan is getting the Nismo treatment as well! Nissan has already pimped out their best selling car, the Sentra, with the whole Nismo package. Maybe the changes made there can help cue us into what this Altima will look and…
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Chrysler on Suicide Watch
Yes, it’s a sad time in the automotive space these days. Chrysler has confirmed the killing of the 300, leaving the overall Chrysler lineup to be only a single model. This one, glorious lone car is the Chrysler Pacifica. Yes, the legacy of Chrysler is left up to a minivan. With this news fresh on…
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2015 Golf GTI – Anything is Worth a Try Once
Share this post with your friends to mis-shift into their asses too! People need to stop letting me drive cars that are actually fast because it makes me feel bad about the circumstances of my own life. This is one of those cars, a mostly-2015 Volkswagen Golf track weapon with 370 horsepower to prove it,…
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Top 10 Gas Cans
This special editorial brought to you by SwedishDiesel Premium fuel Products™ Being the completely sane and rational being that I am, I have taken to collecting old gas cans. And no, that’s not to say I’m an arsonist. At these fuel prices? Hah, no way man. Modern gas cans suck. In an effort to reduce…
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2006 Mercedes SL600 – Runs Like Twelve Distinguished Bats and 600mg of Vicodin up its Ass
Whaddup you featherless bipeds. It’s 2006 my mo-fos, got two more years to live it up in ecstasy until the economy crashes, so jump in to this 5.5 L twin turbo V12 nut job, and let’s try to keep it pointed straight. How they hell did y’all find this? Oh silly disembodied voice of the…
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