Category: Car News?
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Head of Chinese Communist Party Caught in Buick Enclave
“That’s not a Buick!” Said the agricultural minister. His family hasn’t heard from him since. Due to Buicks recent marketing efforts, pure confusion has swept through the communist party, struggling to identify the poorly built American automobile. “I could have sworn it was a Buick, but upon closer inspection, it was my wife’s sister!” Said…
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Mercedes to Introduce “Prostate Massager” Option for 2025 S Class
After months of persistent emails and phone calls that have gotten us yet another restraining order on a South Florida car dealer, we’ve finally managed to get our “operatives” (some dude on discord) to “infiltrate Mercedes Benz USA” (dig through their trash) and “inform us on upcoming products” (send us low quality photos). And boy,…
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Californian Coach Builder Introduces the Ford Flexi-Flex
In a lazy effort to justify this last minute photoshop of an idea gone south, we esteemed writers at MSIMA present the general public with this article: Oh the Ford Flex! A vehicle so prolific and impactful, so short lived in this mortal realm. We haven’t forgotten, and neither has Californian coach builder “FlexingDreams inc.”.…
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Rivian to Work on EV Tank
Following the sudden injection of money to Rivian from the Volkswagen Automotive Group, Rivian has decided to branch off to the sector they probably should’ve started with: defense contracting. Partnering with General Dynamics, the current suppliers of the M1 Abrams tank, Rivian has announced their move into the defense industry. Using the same motor setup…
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Mercedes Adds Single Dial for Traction Control on all Models
The Mercedes AMG GT R had a special part inside the cabin. Because of the true “track ready” style the GT R portrayed, Mercedes had the idea to give easy access to the traction control options placed directly on the center console. Now, a few years later, this feature is coming to all other Mercedes…
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Aston Martin Threatens to Wipe Out Humanity (in about two weeks)
THE END IS NIGH, CONSUMERS!!!! ASTON MARTIN HAS FINALLY HAD IT. SUBMIT YOUR PITIFUL EXISTENCE BEFORE YOUR FALSE GODS, ASTON MARTIN WILL TAKE NO PITTY. THEY ARE HERE TO BRING FORTH OUR SALVATION. OH GREAT ONE, LEAD ME TOWARD VALHALLA. ALL WILL BE VANQUISHED! Or at least that’s what Aston Martin’s PR team told us.…
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Nissan Altima NISMO LEAKED!!!!
Nissan has had a long history of exciting Nismo products, and now their sporty 4-door sedan is getting the Nismo treatment as well! Nissan has already pimped out their best selling car, the Sentra, with the whole Nismo package. Maybe the changes made there can help cue us into what this Altima will look and…
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Chrysler on Suicide Watch
Yes, it’s a sad time in the automotive space these days. Chrysler has confirmed the killing of the 300, leaving the overall Chrysler lineup to be only a single model. This one, glorious lone car is the Chrysler Pacifica. Yes, the legacy of Chrysler is left up to a minivan. With this news fresh on…
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2015 Golf GTI – Anything is Worth a Try Once
Share this post with your friends to mis-shift into their asses too! People need to stop letting me drive cars that are actually fast because it makes me feel bad about the circumstances of my own life. This is one of those cars, a mostly-2015 Volkswagen Golf track weapon with 370 horsepower to prove it,…
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McLaren to Begin Recycling 12c and 650s
With a back long of unwanted early McLarens (mainly the 12c and 650s) that just can be sold, dealers have been asking McLaren for a solution. Many of these cars were either traded in for newer models, or lemon lawed due to fires or other mechanical “oopsies” (the proper McLaren terminology). Their solution: Ship all…